Here ' Tis

Here AT LAST is the 40th birthday picture - yes, THE. My sister's hard drive crashed so we've probably lost the others, unless Kelly sends some more.

In front: Jim Dunnigan, Nate Fowler
Middle: Kelly Lynch, Vicki Meglemre, Peter Mannery
Back: Scot M, the birthday kid

Oh and it's still daylight out, so we haven't hit our stride yet...

The saddest thing about being on the evening shift and working both major weekend nights is that when I finally get off at 1100 and get home [1130ish] - you all are all ready well into whatever you have going for the night or you're all ready passed out.

Me and my beer and High Fidelity DVD - and a couple of you may get calls... I need some action tonight! I need to howl at the moon and sing and laugh and a snog would be nice [look it up on wikepedia, I had to] -

I watched Say Anything last week; ah to be young and playing tonsil hockey in a car or in a hot tub again, to feel warm flesh against mine, electrical shocks where bodies, hands and mouths meet, reckless romance under the moon and stars, forging bonds and pouring out hopes and dreams.... to be young and in love again....

God damn, I'm going to have to turn off High Fidelity. Sometimes it hits too close. I DID make tapes to impress others, I'd tape Motown comps and box sets into a perfectly flowing Chaz mix to throw down in the store on a Saturday morning or go home and string together 60s and 70s blues and blues/rock like [the original Peter Green led] Fleetwood Mac and Johnny Winter and Allman Brothers and John Mayall and Rory Gallagher and Muddy and Wolf and Yarbirds and WHIP IT OUT in some macho quest for the approval of the other music snobs at Forever Young.

I've had the "Who the fuck is Ian? We don't know anyone named Ian!" moment. I've had the Charlie Nicholson "this chick is too hot/ smart/ beautiful / worldy wise / sex goddess / mature / insert word for hot for me." I've dated and dumped the Penny Hardwick girl. I've slept with the Sarah Kendrew. Have I dated the Laura? I know a couple people like that, but dated? I don't think so. I've never committed myself enough to get to that point. I know that's a shocking sentence to a lot of you... NOT!

Yeah, my life is a series of John Cusak movies - except "I FREAKED OUT, I JOINED THE ARMY AND BECAME A HIT MAN!!!"

Would I like to go back to New Year's Eve 1989/1990 again? To be in that bed with her again alone in that apartment? Or would I just like to know if she really cared the way she said and got tired of waiting for me to make up my mind? Would I like to be in another apartment a year before or two year later with someone else who though I was something while I was pining for someone else who didn't and really realize what was going on and...

Okay, no more beers... well that's a lie, probably more beers but no more blogging and crying in my beers. Change the movie and tell myself tomorrow is another day. Oh God, Lisa Bonet - the worst thing that could happen. Caterwauling, ruining a Peter Frampton song I can't even listen to anymore because it's overplayed to death and yes, she makes the evening WORSE. Yes even worse than these memories and regrets crawling though my mind.

Time for another beer. SALEH!

Pennsylvania Blues

As I said, I was just in Pennsylvania to see my grandparents and other relatives and spend some time out of the rat race [and out of the rain for the most part]. My grandfather is 87. My grandmother is 85. Grandpap sits and watches TV in his chair and he uses a wheelchair to get around his house most of the time. He's not happy that his body will no longer do what he thinks it should be able to. Grandma still gets around okay, if a little slower than she used to.

I always though my grandfather was Superman and knew everything. I know now it is not so. In the last three years since I was there, he has slipped further and further down the road of old age. When he does stand he is very stopped over, his hands shake more at the table and the twinkle of life that used to be there in his eyes is gone. He is on the last road and he knows it.

Grandma is worn out from having to take care of grandpap all day. She can still go up and down the steps and get on and off the swing out front, but it's getting harder. She doesn't complain like he does, but I know she has her own aches. She needs to rest more than she does. I know everyone worries about 'Pap because he seems worse in his debilitated condition, but I fear we're overlooking her.

The swings seem more shocking when you aren't around a lot. My impressions of their aging are based on a week in their house every couple of years. How would I feel if I watched this every day or every week?

I mentioned recently about my great aunt Cecilia and uncle Donnie passed within a few weeks of each other. They lived at the top of the hill where my grandparents live. I walked up the hill one afternoon I was there just to look around and think about them. The house is there empty, Donnie's swing just as he left it with the blanket he sat on - that distinctive nasal voice will never boom out a greeting to me as I come up the hill, those mischievous eyes will never twinkle under that aged white haired flat top as he tells me how good his grandchildren are doing. Soon, someone else will live in that house, probably one of their kids or grandchildren. Things will be redone, modernized rearranged and changed - it will never be the place I remember again. So I walked around and locked things into my memory; the same as sitting on grandpaps swing sipping coffee, watching the traffic flow on a cool morning and smelling the clover.

My grandparents living room has about 100 photographs - on walls, end tables, TV stands, anywhere a picture will fit. Pictures from the last five decades, their brothers, sisters and parents, some gone, some still around. The kids, my aunts and uncles; the grandkids, me and my cousins; the great-grandchildren... and themselves of course. Photos of graduations, reunions, weddings and portraits, all kinds of photos and the photos keep coming. My cousins and I are the age a lot of our parents were in a lot of these photos - thirty or so to mid-forties. My cousins oldest kids are now graduating high school and going off to college or careers! My aunts and uncles show the signs of aging, gray hairs and a little paunch here and there, but everyone I saw still carried themselves very well.

But I looked around this living room, this ongoing living breathing monument of their legacy... and I just wondered what would become of it all. I've oft lamented the physical and emotional distance between me and my cousins - it's hard to friends with your relatives when they're 1300 miles away. I know I don't have much in common with them nor my aunts and uncles - I don't know the people or the area. I kind of liken it to someone you went to high school with that you run into every couple of years. I like seeing my cousins and I am interested in what they are doing, but somehow I don't find the effort to communicate to them - even by email.

I wonder what will become of this house when the patriarchs are gone. Even now, it has not been changed much since I can remember. I can sit and remember cousins playing records and dancing in uncle Dicks room and killer games of croquet up behind the house and the big maple that's been gone for the last decade but used to hold the hammock and chasing fireflies in the summer and having a root beer float before bed like some mythical time warp to an endless summer where you're always 12 or 13.

Someday - sooner rather than later - it will all be just a memory.

Not So Quick Hits : NHL Free Agency

Okay, I've been out of town so my analysis has been slow to come, but a lot has happened in the 8 days since the NHL summer free agent period began.

Nashville has thrown in the towel. After overpaying for Peter Forsberg last year, the Preds continued shipping talent to Philadelphia with the trade of potential free agents defenseman Kimmo Timonen and winger Scott Hartnell, [both of whom skipped free agency to sign for big bucks to stay in Philly] for one first round pick. Then they shipped off goalie Tomas Vokun to the Florida Panthers for more draft picks and allowed leading scorer Paul Kariya to jump to the St. Louis Blues. What have the picked up to fill their depleted ranks? Radek Bonk, a 31 year old journeyman who has put up 44 points in the last two year and jouorneyman defenseman Greg de Vries, a decent stay at home defenseman who at least has a Stanley Cup on his resume from Colorado [2001]. But this team has lost too much firepower. They grew intro a team that was contending in only 8 years to a group in disarray due to the sale of the team. Want to know what happens in a situation like this? Look at the St. Louis Blues the last two years. Although the mixed news for Nashville fans [Marty and Mark], is that it appears Canadian billionaire Jim Basillie and his idea of moving the team to Hamilton ON are out of the mix but California businessman William De Biaggo is in and has a deal in place to move a team to Kansas City where the team will not have to pay rent on the arena there. De Baggio was also in the running to buy the Pittsburgh Penguins for the same purpose. Stay tuned.

The Pennsylvania teams make splashes. Philly continues to try and rebound from a horrid year last year by signing coveted center Daniel Briere from Buffalo and stripping the Edmonton Oilers of defenseman Jason Smith and winger Joffrey Lupul [the key to the deal that sent Chris Pronger to Anahiem and the Stanley Cup]. They Probably don't have enough to truly contand this year, especially with Derian Hatcher still there, but add some slick skaters in Lupul, Timonen, Scotty Upshall [last years acquisition for Forsberg] and the always dangerous when healthy Simone Gagne and they will be a spoil someone's playoff run this year and regain the respectability they lost after the lockout.

Pittsburgh on the other hand didn't have to make a big splash, just add a couple of pieces to their young run and gun team and maintain the status quo. What they added was veteran presence by convincing ancient warriors Gary Roberts and Mark 'Wrecking Ball' Recchi to play another year and bringing in a true two way defenseman in bringing Daryl Sydor from Dallas. I think Sydor will be a key as he was in Tampa Bay; he knows how to pick his spots and he's a dedicated defensive player - unlike say Sergei Gonchar. Pittsburgh GM Ray Shero knows where his bread and butter is: sign young talent to long term deals ASAP and just work the free agents for fringe elements. Good move, Ray!

Buffalo and the NY Islanders dismantled. Buffalo, the team I thought would come from the East last year lost their top two centers, Daniel Brier to Philly and Chris Drury to the NY Rangers [who also added set up man Scott Gomez from New Jersey to feed their great wingers] and paid heavily to match a 7 year, $50 million offer for 43 goal man Thomas Vanek. Yes, they still have great wingers and Ryan Miller in goal, but they haven't yet made a move for a center. I would have thought that they would make a run at Jarmir Jagr's set up man Michael Nylander since he got the boot, but Nylander went to Washington instead to set up Alex Ovechkin or their emerging second sniper Alexander Semin.

Last years Cinderella team, despite having Alexei Yashin, the NY Islanders came away a shell of themselves in two days. Last years acquisition and hoped for new captain left wing Ryan Smith bolted for Colorado, right wing Jason Blake bolted for big dollars in Toronto, decent center Victor Kozlov and defenceman Tom Poti both jumped to the Washington Capitals and the team FINALLY got rid of the albatross of the underachieving Yashin by buying out his contract. Unfortunately the dollars they saved in that buyout were supposed to be used to keep Smyth and Blake. Whoops. Signing aging but honarable winger Bill Guerin and enigmatic center Mike Comrie is not going to restock the shelf enough.

Bits and Pieces: LA appeared to make a move by bringing in defensemen Brad Stuart from Calgary and Tom Priessing from Ottawa and forwards Ladislav Nagy [whom is is hoped will regain the form he had before the lockout] from Dallas and center Michael Handzus from Chicago, but they are still a year or two from having their young core in place ala Pittsburgh. But keep and eye on their dynamic young winger Anze Kopitar - he is the real deal.

I also like that Anahiem resigned J.S. Gigure immediately and didn't wait for Scott Neidermeyer or Teemu Sellane to take their time considering retirement. They immediately grabbed fantastic point man Mathieu Schnieder from Detroit [who in turn grabbed NJ Devils only offensive defenseman Brian Rafalski to replace Schnieder] and Todd Bertuzzi to be ready to fill those holes. Bertuzzi, if he returns to pre-lockout form will finally give the Ducks someone who goes to the net and makes defensemen miserable. Which would be best for Big Bert these days - quit being a rushing winger and play the Tomas Holmstrom / Dino Ciccerelli crease lizard and stuff home the garbage. And if Neidermeyer and / or Sellane do return, you have assets that can be used to pile up draft picks.

I will say this - watching Ryan Smyth and Joe Sakic work together in Colorado will be a lot of fun. I though Colorado had the gas to knock Calgary out of the playoff last season, but they came up one game short. If their fantastic young center Paul Stastny can maintain the level head he had last year and get Milan Hejduk back up the the 90-100 point level, the Avs are going to be a tough team for someone come April.

Who's left? The biggest name out there is Montreal defenseman Sheldon Souray. A 100 mph blast from the point is a great thing to have on offense, but like just like Bryan McCabe [the summer 06 defenseman with shot] he can be a defensive liability at times, which is why GM [and 4 time Selke Winner as best defensive forward] Bob Gainey let him walk. Make no mistake, he will get his big bucks somewhere, but don't count on this guy to win you the Cup.