Lt. Col. Scott A. Downey is somewhere over Europe or the Atlantic on his way back from Baghdad at last, and I’m sitting in my little cubicle with my MP3 player and Portonoy’s Complaint… luck of the draw brings up Life’s Rich Pageant.

[Pageant – a large scale stage production representing historical or legendary events, especially local ones, in scenes or tableaux in which dramatic interest is less important than spectacle]

And that’s when it strikes me – Scott’s winging back here and it will be our 20^th year reunion!

But what reunion? Henry Meyer and Chris Cotrell have gone to the great beyond [rest their souls] and who knows where to find Katherine, Pam, Joel, Francis Hernandez, Steve Rabbit, Dursty Patridge, J.R., Alana, Tina, Scott’s sweet sweatered Amy or Linda Gail Baker? Or the dozens of characters encountered along the way, the other store manager who fired me, Ron Paul, Jan de Bee, John the District Manager, the boutique lady daughter of the owner, denizens of Skippy’s Mistake, J. Gilligan’s and J. Bentley’s and residents of the lofts at Center and 3^rd…the only ones left from the Cooper Street Sound Warehouse [store 422] 87-88 are the Colonel, Nate and me.

It seems those days lasted forever – “When I was young and full of grace and spirited, a rattlesnake…” Some memories as fresh as they day they were created, some hazed by age and drink, some foolishness only recalled by the lesser inebriated and recited back to us.

20 years - Nate still doing the rock and roll thing, Scott as Patton freeing the masses from oppression whether they like it or not all over the world and me sitting here as some Lester Bangs wanna be... Half my lifetime, little less than half of Scott’s little more than half of Nate’s. And we only got to share 18 years with sweet Henry and his lovely Mrs.

20 years?!!? Joe Strummer, Johnny, Joey and Dee Dee Ramone are all dead. Bill Berry’s retired to life as a gentleman farmer in Athens, Ga. Guns N Roses remains only as a rumor and a song on your local ‘Classic Rock’ station. Hair metal bands got old, fat and bald and C-Rap took over the world. The Stones keep going and every once in a while the Smithereeens still come around waiving the flag for what used to be rock and roll.

Next in the MP3 – Stop Making Sense. That’s almost fitting. Maybe the Replacements Hold My Life would have been ironic – "Hold my life / until I’m ready to use it / Hold my life / Cause I just might lose it."

20 years, friend. Lots of shows, some of them spectacular – Lou Reed, Public Image Ltd., Big Audio Dynamite, Red Hot Chili Peppers, Springsteen, the Stones, Smithereens, Aerosmith [front row ‘87], Smithereens, Faster Pussycat, Iggy Pop, Guns N Roses… untold gallons of potent potables, hundreds of cans from 12 packs of Black Label and Busch bought with change the day before payday, video cassettes of Monty Python and the Holy Grail, A Night at the Opera and Pee Wee Herman, trillions of grains of sand from killer sand volleyball games at Skippy’s and Scott Central, probably a few uncooked beans or popcorn kernels and / or an unused firecracker here or there, two funerals… postcards, photos, tapes, JPEG and emails from the fronts and around the world.

It’s been too long since we sat and talked, toasted and laughed. Way too long. Welcome home, friend. I will see you soon.

You may find yourself / Living in a shotgun shack / You may find yourself / In another part part of the world / You may find yourself behind the wheel of a large automobile / You may find yourself / in a beautiful house / with a beautiful wife / You may say to yourself / "well - how did I get here?"

11:11 am and I shuffle barefoot and in sweatpants for morning relief
Glancing briefly at the bed-headed figure in the mirror
Unclear, as I do not have my glasses on
Wash my hands and make the coffee again and put on the glasses and the tube
It's just another morning

I wander through life with my one good eye and under-tall
I view my life like looking through a camera lens or monocle most of the time
The clouds hang low and grey this morning
And it feels like it should be dusk at noon
But instead it looks like snow

I sit in my cubicle
People close by but out of touch
Does anyone really care what happens on my side of this partition?
Jets flying low over our building, people moving here and there
While I sit here chained to my job

Coffee alone every morning
The computer my usual link to a world outside
In the comfort of sweats and a tee
Headlights and taillights on the freeway
Rushing to get somewhere, rushing to get home, get the fuck out of my way!

I let myself imagine a romance blossoming
And my heart burned like napalm
But suddenly gone in a flash of imagination and wishful thinking
Dark now outside, parking lot lights, half moons on stilts
Watching the cars waiting for their owners, waiting to be used again

New Years

Some people have asked why I seem so bitter about New Year's Eve / Day when it's supposed to be a simple time to get together with some folks and get looped and celebrate the arrival of a new year and tell the old year to kiss off. And wake up fuzzy tongued and wondering who you kissed the night before and turn on some football and sleep off a hangover.

But much like birthdays and other 'rituals of survival,' I find them usually depressing. If one could wipe your memory [like wiping a hard drive] or shred all your memories or burn them off, then maybe I could get into them a little more. Maybe I'd have a smaller pile of regrets and 'should haves'

But I find with New Year's Eve I wind up places where I know one or three people and room full of strangers [not my element] and I am trying NOT to drink so much because I have to drive and when the New Year arrives all the people pair off with their significant and it just drives home how incredibly single I am.

But it's been that way forever. One NYE I spent with a pretty lady in an apartment in Arlington, once I kissed my sister's best friend, a couple New Years I spent huddled under blankets in snowed / iced in in Wichita after getting tattooed... one year Deb came here and got snowed in and sat of the tarmac at DFW for four hours. One recent year I went to some friends one a snowy NYE and we played cards and drank and missed midnight. One year I went to a friends and watched Saw... that was weird. A couple of my last NYE were spent at home, having a shot at midnight and going to be because I had to work at 800 the next morning.

Strangely, I don't think we ever spent a NYE at Jim's apartment, where we hung out through most of the 90s - I guess someone always had a party going and we went there. And Jim, gentleman drinker that he was, would not touch a drop - 'amateur night,' he called it.

Of course, as I have gotten older and killed more brain cells, I can't remember some NYE - was the night Kim hit the car on the 408 / 20 on ramp in the ice a NYE? How about those NYE in the 80s spent at my cousin Sherri's? [Well, I KNOW why I don't remember those... we were young and we drank A LOT.]

Anyway, that's my stories...

Not So Bitchy Stuff...

I took my sister, bro - in - law and nieces to see to production of A Christmas Story in Arlington yesterday [closes today, sorry you missed it]. Very well done, too. I was never a BB gun kid - even "an official Red Rider 200 shot carbine with a compass and a thing that tells time built right into the stock."

But there was a minor character that caught my attention - Esther Jane, the little girl with the crush on Ralph. I won't speak for the girls out there, but I am sure every guy had one of those girls who had the crush on him, maybe some friends sister or one 'homely' girl in the class. I had Claudia Soto back in the fifth grade. A little gangling and buck toothed. Which means she became supermodel hot in high school after the braces came off. But I liked the brassy tomboy Renae Childs [R.I.P.] and so...

I often rue openly about 'missed opportunities' and 'shoulda / woulda / coulda' and wonder about 'if I knew then what I know now.' Especially in winter, when the long nights just seem to open up the back pages in my mind. I just wonder sometimes if anybody else sees things like that and remembers someone, their own Claudia Soto or even me.

The NHL Again

I watched the Stars - Sharks game after we got home... I am one of those people who thinks the Sharks are a better team than they are, but they seem to go into 'going through the motions' too often to be a real dangerous team. And not like the 95 - 96 Red Wings where they just steamrolled through the regular season like the old Cincinnati Reds 'Big Red Machine.' The Sharks just seem to have no emotion to their game. Yeah, they have a great set up guy in Joe Thornton, but one guy does not a team make.

Scott Neidermeyer returns to the defending Stanley Cup champs, probably today, but in order to make room under the salary cap, the Ducks had to ship center Andy McDonald to the St. Louis Blues for Doug Weight. And I wouldn't trade three broken sticks for Doug Weight. I think he is the most over-rated player left in the league, since Curtis Joseph is not playing [though not officially 'retired.'].

CRANKY OLD DUDE STUFF

The NFL / NFL Network's Strong Arm Tactics

My Comment: The NFL wants the Texas State Legislature to FORCE private businesses [i.e. cable companies] to offer a product. This is TERRIBLE for the free market and indicative of the power a billion dollar industry thinks it has. But I am inclined to agree with the cable companies on this one: let those who WANT the NFL Network PAY for the NFL Network. I have about a 1% desire to see the NFL Network - I get P-L-E-N-T-Y of NFL talk on every other stinkin' sports channel I all ready get and I have no desire to watch team press conferences, team practice reports and/ or archived games, even the Steeler Super Bowls [blaspheme, I know Uncle Rich]. I think the NFL is highly overestimating the [quote] demand [end quote] for its product, especially when the season is over.

On the flip side, however - if the cable companies are forced to carry the NFL Network on the basic tier, then they should also be forced, in the name of fair competition, to carry the NHL Network [yes, it's out there] and whatever cable outlet the NBA, NCAA, MLB, MLS, etc. will surely throw up there, too. I would LOVE to have access to the NHL Network, but my carrier does not provide it. I would pay a premium price for something I am going to enjoy - let football fans couch it up like they all ready do for premium packages to worship a wall of televisions with access to [almost] every game on Sunday.

by John Moritz / Fort Worth Star Telegram 12/11/07

AUSTIN -- Two of the most powerful figures in pro football slugged it out with some of the titans of the cable television industry Monday over who was best equipped to protect the armchair quarterbacks of Texas.

Cowboys owner Jerry Jones and NFL commissioner Roger Goodell appeared before the Texas House Committee on Regulated Industries seeking to force large cable companies to offer the fledgling NFL Network to subscribers who opt only for basic service. Cable companies such as Time Warner and Charter want the network that carries some of the league's must-see games along with other football- related programming to be reserved for viewers willing to pay for a premium package.

Some cable subscribers are upset because they can't see some games in the comfort of their homes. Five games in the last three weeks are on NFL Network, including the Cowboys' game at Carolina on Dec. 22 and New England's game at the New York Giants on Dec. 29 in which the Patriots could finish a 16-0 regular season.

Fans in the Dallas-Fort Worth area can see the Cowboys' game on KDFI/Ch. 27, but the rest of the state and nation, will be out of luck unless they have NFL Network.

"As America's team, the Dallas Cowboys have millions of fans outside the home market who are being kept in the dark by Big Cable," Jones said.

For some members of the House committee, including chairman Phil King, it sounded like an argument best settled in an arena outside of state government.

"I have serious reservations over whether the state has jurisdiction over this," King, R-Weatherford, told Jones and Goodell.

Todd Baxter, vice president of the Texas Cable Association, urged the panel to resist legislation that might give a state agency the authority to regulate what programming cable operators must provide.

The state would have jurisdiction, Jones and Goodell said, because cable companies are effectively public utilities and generally operate with little or no competition.

Baxter pointed out that viewers in some markets have a choice in cable providers and nearly all could opt for a satellite TV service.

Under a proposal backed by Jones and Goodell, state regulators would arbitrate the dispute. State Sen. Kim Brimer, a Fort Worth Republican who was not at Monday's hearing, has said he plans to file a bill requiring the two sides to submit to arbitration.

Lawmakers can't act on proposed legislation until the next legislative session convenes in January 2009.

In addition, Baxter said, the NFL decided to establish a cable-based network when in the past the vast majority of regular-season games were available on broadcast channels.

"If they want [the fans] to see all of the games, why did they take them off free television?" Baxter said. "They need to be intellectually honest and stop blaming local cable companies for a problem they created."

The Federal Reserve's Job

I don't know why ANYONE is looking to the Federal Reserve and/or reductions in interest rates to save their homes. Yes, 'The Fed' is the driving the economy as a whole - and yes, they want to preserve growth and yes, they dictate monitary policy. But this hiccup is also their doing.

When the Fed saw that banking was making questionable loans, Alan Greenspan spoke up, but he was shouted down by Congress, who said "We need to make money available to those with little, no or questionable credit histories to enable them to participate in The American Dream." Well, guess what - those folks who got that money at low [quote] introductory [end quote] rates, not bothering to notice [or ignoring] the "Escalator" clauses took that money, ran with it and mortgaged themselves up the the eyeballs in houses they COULD NOT AFFORD.

Now the banks are wringing their hands and crying and Congress, in their infinite wisdom and penchant for forgetting what they said yesterday, is asking "Why did you make such questionable loans?"

Congress has not been able to live within a budget for how many years? We are looking at a debt right now of 5.1 TRILLION dollars and Congress keeps raising the debt ceiling, basically saying to itself "you're good for it, we're going to raise your credit limit!" And now the Congress is going to call private banking into question for their lending practices?

Look, The Fed did not tell home builders to keep cranking out their McMansions to sell to people who couldn't afford them for the last few years. The Fed nor Congress nor any other regulating agency interfered with private business when the banks were making the loans. So personally, I think it's ridiculous for the Federal Government to step in now and make concessions to private industry to save the banks and allow people to keep living in homes they can't afford and never could. ESPECIALLY A REPUBLICAN / CONSERVATIVE PRESIDENT. I think it sets a dangerous precedent of "The Government Safety Net." Now more than ever, this sets The Government as the Big Brother / Father Figure to run to for a bailout when 'You' get into trouble. [Next up: National Health Insurance - just say no! See Milton Friedman's Free To Choose for my reasoning.]

What should The Fed do? Well, they're lowering short term interest rates in an effort to keep the economy growing, moving forward, basically, trying to get more money out there to allow people to borrow and spur growth and spending. BUT, the masses are scared now, and they should be! They don't WANT to take on more debt, concerned about the debt they have right now [unlike Congress] and what will happen to their credit card interest rates and home laons over the next couple of years. So consumer confidence is low and that keeps them from buying new homes, new cars and the economy is going to grind to a halt. And we may even see contraction shortly. As predicted, when he was out touring his boring autobiography, by Alan Greenspan [who really need to write the next definitive book on Economics, ala John Maynard Keyes and Milton Friedman]. One hopes we don't see numbers like the end of the Carter years, but it may get worse before it gets better again.

The Omaha Kid

I will not mention his name because he wanted to 'be famous.' Which he is not, he is INFAMOUS. Big difference. But the suicide notes says "... I don't want to be a burden on the ones that I care for my entire life."

I still don't understand why the moron had to take other people out. That's just sadder than sad. If you're miserable with your own life and want to end it, fine, but to take out people who had nothing to do with your problems...

I think the opposite of what he hoped is true now. He is infamous and his friends and family will forever have to live with the shame he brought on them.

The Conference on "Global Climate Change"

Let's host the Green Party[ies] of the major industrial nations at a conference on [quote] Global Climate Change [end quote] on a small island in the middle of the Indian Ocean which they [the conference attendees and various worldwide news agencies] will all have to fly to on massive pollution, excuse me [quote] Carbon Footprint [end quote] causing jets and have them stay for two weeks in air conditioned hotels and conference rooms where the expulsion of [quote] Greenhouse Gasses [end quote] i.e. hot air, will be enough to power a wind turbine that can generate enough electricity to run 300,000 homes for two weeks.

I have a better idea: Why not just cut down another three square miles of Amazonian rain forest and call it even.

NYTEX

I went to the Texas Brahmas game at NYTEX arena last night. One heck of a game even though the referee sucked ass - how does a team get a 3 minute power play? Anyway, the Brahmas are harder to support and get to way up in North Richland Hills there - basically at Precinct Line and Mid Cities - just to the east of Birdville High there.

This is TINY place - it was originally built I guess for high school and rec leagues. I sat on one side and they only had 12 rows of bleachers on that side , another ten or so over the far goal, the same 12 rows and and additional 8 on a second tier. I guess this is what would be a Junior hockey arena in Canada. Nice sight lines though, you are right up against the action. But if it holds more than 2500 people, I'll eat my hat.

The Brahmas won in a shootout, by the way. Blew a 4 on 3 power play in overtime with one fender missing a stick - and he laid on the puck for a good five seconds just off the left of the crease - NO delay of game penalty. As I said, the referee sucked ass.

My Hard Drive Adventure

I had taken some time off moving all the files from the Great Transfer, copying the stuff I wanted to keep into my [anal retentive] organizing, logging and rating albums onto Rate Your Music and deleting trash, but I got into it again this week.

I found some really eardrum destroying things I will have to send to Marty in Nashville, like Arch Enemy, Cradle of Filth, Disturbed and the Suicide Machines [along with 7 Slayer albums]. Did anybody else know Robert John 'Mutt' Lange [Def Leppard / Shania Twain (his wife) / Highway to Hell] produced / over produced the Corrs 2000 album In Blue? I thought I'd like the Corrs, but I didn't. Found a British 'blue eyed soul' thing that was okay - the Blue Nile. Kind of a low rent Simply Red. Some kind of Celtic Pop / New Age-y / Enya-ish thing called Capercaillie. I found a great album by a band called the Sensation Alex Harvey Band called Framed [1973] which sounds like the blueprint for Bon Scott and AC/DC. Will check out some more of this.

I also managed to throw together a couple tapes for my Mom [she listens in her truck when she leaves the house], one a fantastic Smokey Robinson collection [solo], the other a collection of off the wall 70s soul stuff [Staples Singers, Three Degrees, Major Harris, Bobby Womack, O'Jays, etc...].