I finished re-reading a copy of High Fidelity for some light reading, I thought. [And to whomever has made off with my previous copy, make sure you pass it on or the wrath of karma and people named Ian will get you!]
I had to reflect at the end though how it seems a LOT [not all] of us want to be something or someone other than who we are. I find the time I spend here tapping at the keys pretending to be the idiot bastard son of Hunter Thompson and/or Lester Bangs more exciting than anything I have going on right now, which is admittedly my fault for not being out there finding some adventure for myself.
I spoke a while back about losing innocence, which is sad looking back and seeing it slip away, but where do dreams disappear to? Can you look back to one day or series of days where you just see yourself tossing a spadeful of dirt over your dream, but thinking 'it's just a minor setback, I'll get back to this shortly...' and then suddenly it's a year or five or ten and you're looking in the mirror going 'What's happened to me?'
The things that springs immediately to mind are things like someone turning down a marriage proposal, a divorce or the death of a parent or partner, but while I think things like that throw large bucketfuls of dirt over one's dream, I think it's more throwing in a spoonful every week that just cuts you off from it. And I think this is the hole in a lot of people that they try to fill, but of course the cure becomes worse than the symptom, etc., etc.
Just me rambling, I think.
Monday, May 29, 2006
It's Memorial Day 2006, some 61 years after the end of World War II ended in Europe, a few months short of the 61st anniversary of the surrender of Japan.
Today, as in many recent years, my grandfather went to the town parade for veterans. I will not even guess at his private thoughts at such an event. Whether he was remembering people who never returned or the men who did whom he kept in touch with in his travels over the years is anybodies guess. Some of the stories about searching for someone are pretty funny. Stopping at a store in a town somewhere and asking if they know so-and-so and getting "Well everybody knows THAT son of a bitch" in return; stopping in D.C. at someone's house and their wife answering the door and he asked for so-and-so and they guys hollers out from the kitchen "Is that Darrell out there?"
My grandfather has seen Saving Private Ryan and Band of Brothers and both have made him sad and angry. He's STILL very angry that he with two kids was sent overseas and my great uncle who had none was sent to New Jersey. He's told my grandmother "You don't understand what I went through over there." [She told him back "you don't know what we went through HERE, either." God love her.]
My grandfather doesn't like to talk too much about the WAR. One story about a Lieutenant who was walking down the middle of the road and got blasted is about all I know of what he did in the war. I've heard many tales about occupation of a castle in Krefeld Germany, just on the west of the Rhine. I know he received the Bronze Star, but he works around the question when asked about it. I think he went on a mission to negotiate the Germans surrendering to the American Army before the Russians arrived, because I know they did link up with the Russians in the area. I believe he was in the 102nd Division [Ozarks]... he has a map of their areas of action but it's on a videotape my sister has. I bought a unit patch at the Army/Navy and I keep it on a picture I have.
The only reason I mention things like this is that these men are dying and their stories are dying with them. I don't know how many of you have a grandfather or a great-grandfather who served, but I just want to advise you to ask them about it before it's too late. It may be a moment in your family history you can treasure, either their story or just sharing the time with them. Ask those grandmas about trying to go on worrying about the husbands, dads, brothers and uncles overseas. Don't let your family history slip away and then wonder. I know a call from a grandchild makes MY grandparents WEEK.
Today, as in many recent years, my grandfather went to the town parade for veterans. I will not even guess at his private thoughts at such an event. Whether he was remembering people who never returned or the men who did whom he kept in touch with in his travels over the years is anybodies guess. Some of the stories about searching for someone are pretty funny. Stopping at a store in a town somewhere and asking if they know so-and-so and getting "Well everybody knows THAT son of a bitch" in return; stopping in D.C. at someone's house and their wife answering the door and he asked for so-and-so and they guys hollers out from the kitchen "Is that Darrell out there?"
My grandfather has seen Saving Private Ryan and Band of Brothers and both have made him sad and angry. He's STILL very angry that he with two kids was sent overseas and my great uncle who had none was sent to New Jersey. He's told my grandmother "You don't understand what I went through over there." [She told him back "you don't know what we went through HERE, either." God love her.]
My grandfather doesn't like to talk too much about the WAR. One story about a Lieutenant who was walking down the middle of the road and got blasted is about all I know of what he did in the war. I've heard many tales about occupation of a castle in Krefeld Germany, just on the west of the Rhine. I know he received the Bronze Star, but he works around the question when asked about it. I think he went on a mission to negotiate the Germans surrendering to the American Army before the Russians arrived, because I know they did link up with the Russians in the area. I believe he was in the 102nd Division [Ozarks]... he has a map of their areas of action but it's on a videotape my sister has. I bought a unit patch at the Army/Navy and I keep it on a picture I have.
The only reason I mention things like this is that these men are dying and their stories are dying with them. I don't know how many of you have a grandfather or a great-grandfather who served, but I just want to advise you to ask them about it before it's too late. It may be a moment in your family history you can treasure, either their story or just sharing the time with them. Ask those grandmas about trying to go on worrying about the husbands, dads, brothers and uncles overseas. Don't let your family history slip away and then wonder. I know a call from a grandchild makes MY grandparents WEEK.
Wednesday, May 24, 2006
A Mark Lederman Story [aka How I Learned What Record Liners Are For]
I have mentioned Mark in several recent posting and this story struck my tonight. I don't think I have posted it before, but indulge me if I have, I'm feeling something akin to funny.
I knew Mark from Foster Elementary School, 5th Grade [see Tales of a Fifth Grade Nobody posting]. We weren't particularly close then, but in 5th grade you know everybody. Well in the summer of '78, my parents bought a house across town in southwest Arlington [Tx.] and when I started 6th grade it was at JB Little Elementary. About two weeks after classes started, I go into my class in the 'Temporary Buildings' [which are probably STILL there] and there's Mark getting his books! 'Hey man, what's up?' Well, his family moved to a slightly higher middle class neighborhood about 1/4 mile south of where we were living.
That was it. We became running buds. We had this fairly young, maybe 26-28 year old teacher, Mary Miles, who was pretty cool. She'd tell us about the Dr. Demento radio show, especially how she hated this one song: Barnes & Barnes' CLASSIC, Fish Heads. So we checked that out and of course, we loved it and became regular listeners. Mrs. Miles also hung a tag on Mark that I would occasionally nail him with when we'd play one on one in his driveway...
You see, Mark was a little crazy, but in a good way. Mark's parents were South American, from Ecuador or Peru as I recall. Mark's Mom Carmen, God bless her, was a little five foot nothing dynamo and Mark was terrified of her. I loved her and I got away with calling her 'Mama' just like her kids and I had her fooled into thinking I was a good kid. Mark's Dad Peter was a big man who I was afraid of crossing. He was all business all the time and I minded my Ps & Qs around him. Now Mark was a little heavy, but he wasn't the heaviest kid we knew. But he was a dark headed kid and we knew he had Latin roots. Well, one day he's driving Mrs. Miles just to the brink in math class and she pops out with the most politically incorrect thing she could: 'Margarita Ledbottom.'
Now this did not become anyone's standard greeting or name for Mark because he had lived in NYC for a while and had some of that attitude and Mrs. Miles only used it when she was in an extremely good mood or about to give him a whack with a ruler, if she could have. But I'd goad him with it once in a while just to push his nose in it when I was winning.
Now Mark was cool. Mark turned me on to Queen, Scorpions and AC/DC. We would see Queen's last American tour in '82 and we saw Aerosmith three times, '84,'86 and from the front row [with Dokken opening] in '87. The '86 show we parked about half a mile from Reunion and walking down the railroad track, Mark on crutches from having sprained his ankle the day before... he never let me live that down.
But back in '78, Mark was also into Kiss. He turned me on to them as a matter of fact. At this time, Mark had Alive and Alive II and he was nice enough to let me borrow them once in a while. Well after a few trips back and forth, I stuck the old portable cassette player in between the speakers and stuck in my KMart special 'No Leader' tape and taped the best of the live records.
Now the one thing about Mark's Alive II was the record 2 had a big chunk missing out of it where he had dropped it or someone had stepped on it. So until I got my own copy, I never heard I Stole Your Love, Beth [no big loss], All American Man or Rockin' In the USA [again no big loss]. And the thought that sent me off on this tangent was thinking about Rocket Ride tonight and wondering what my mom thought of us going around singing "Baby's on her knees / Baby wants to please" when we were 11 or 12. NO, I had NO IDEA what it meant [then]! Mark probably did, but he never told me... Or "My love is large than life."
So I taped these records one weekend and I decided rather than lug them down to Mark's on my bike, I'd just take them into school and he could take them home. So I'm getting on the bus in front of my house, Mark sitting right up front and I had one of those slow motion movie moments when I climbed up the step and watched in HORROR as this record tilts back out of the sleeve and knocks this big chunk off when it hits the curb. But of course it's not the one that's all ready damaged, it's record 1 of Alive II. So as far as I know, Mark never did get to hear four of the five best songs on the record ever again : Detroit Rock City, King of the Nighttime World, Calling Dr. Love and Christine Sixteen. [Shock Me being the fifth. It survived.]
Mark let me borrow records even after that, he never made me buy him another copy, though I almost bought him a CD when they first came out. I was a whole lot more careful with records after that, making sure the inner sleeve was facing up inside the jacket so as to never have a repeat. I lost touch with Mark after that Aerosmith show in '87... If you know him, point him at me because I still owe him one.
I have mentioned Mark in several recent posting and this story struck my tonight. I don't think I have posted it before, but indulge me if I have, I'm feeling something akin to funny.
I knew Mark from Foster Elementary School, 5th Grade [see Tales of a Fifth Grade Nobody posting]. We weren't particularly close then, but in 5th grade you know everybody. Well in the summer of '78, my parents bought a house across town in southwest Arlington [Tx.] and when I started 6th grade it was at JB Little Elementary. About two weeks after classes started, I go into my class in the 'Temporary Buildings' [which are probably STILL there] and there's Mark getting his books! 'Hey man, what's up?' Well, his family moved to a slightly higher middle class neighborhood about 1/4 mile south of where we were living.
That was it. We became running buds. We had this fairly young, maybe 26-28 year old teacher, Mary Miles, who was pretty cool. She'd tell us about the Dr. Demento radio show, especially how she hated this one song: Barnes & Barnes' CLASSIC, Fish Heads. So we checked that out and of course, we loved it and became regular listeners. Mrs. Miles also hung a tag on Mark that I would occasionally nail him with when we'd play one on one in his driveway...
You see, Mark was a little crazy, but in a good way. Mark's parents were South American, from Ecuador or Peru as I recall. Mark's Mom Carmen, God bless her, was a little five foot nothing dynamo and Mark was terrified of her. I loved her and I got away with calling her 'Mama' just like her kids and I had her fooled into thinking I was a good kid. Mark's Dad Peter was a big man who I was afraid of crossing. He was all business all the time and I minded my Ps & Qs around him. Now Mark was a little heavy, but he wasn't the heaviest kid we knew. But he was a dark headed kid and we knew he had Latin roots. Well, one day he's driving Mrs. Miles just to the brink in math class and she pops out with the most politically incorrect thing she could: 'Margarita Ledbottom.'
Now this did not become anyone's standard greeting or name for Mark because he had lived in NYC for a while and had some of that attitude and Mrs. Miles only used it when she was in an extremely good mood or about to give him a whack with a ruler, if she could have. But I'd goad him with it once in a while just to push his nose in it when I was winning.
Now Mark was cool. Mark turned me on to Queen, Scorpions and AC/DC. We would see Queen's last American tour in '82 and we saw Aerosmith three times, '84,'86 and from the front row [with Dokken opening] in '87. The '86 show we parked about half a mile from Reunion and walking down the railroad track, Mark on crutches from having sprained his ankle the day before... he never let me live that down.
But back in '78, Mark was also into Kiss. He turned me on to them as a matter of fact. At this time, Mark had Alive and Alive II and he was nice enough to let me borrow them once in a while. Well after a few trips back and forth, I stuck the old portable cassette player in between the speakers and stuck in my KMart special 'No Leader' tape and taped the best of the live records.
Now the one thing about Mark's Alive II was the record 2 had a big chunk missing out of it where he had dropped it or someone had stepped on it. So until I got my own copy, I never heard I Stole Your Love, Beth [no big loss], All American Man or Rockin' In the USA [again no big loss]. And the thought that sent me off on this tangent was thinking about Rocket Ride tonight and wondering what my mom thought of us going around singing "Baby's on her knees / Baby wants to please" when we were 11 or 12. NO, I had NO IDEA what it meant [then]! Mark probably did, but he never told me... Or "My love is large than life."
So I taped these records one weekend and I decided rather than lug them down to Mark's on my bike, I'd just take them into school and he could take them home. So I'm getting on the bus in front of my house, Mark sitting right up front and I had one of those slow motion movie moments when I climbed up the step and watched in HORROR as this record tilts back out of the sleeve and knocks this big chunk off when it hits the curb. But of course it's not the one that's all ready damaged, it's record 1 of Alive II. So as far as I know, Mark never did get to hear four of the five best songs on the record ever again : Detroit Rock City, King of the Nighttime World, Calling Dr. Love and Christine Sixteen. [Shock Me being the fifth. It survived.]
Mark let me borrow records even after that, he never made me buy him another copy, though I almost bought him a CD when they first came out. I was a whole lot more careful with records after that, making sure the inner sleeve was facing up inside the jacket so as to never have a repeat. I lost touch with Mark after that Aerosmith show in '87... If you know him, point him at me because I still owe him one.
Monday, May 22, 2006
Big is playing on one of the movie channels...
I've said before how when I was a kid I thought 'Grown Ups" were out in the kitchen talking about "Important Stuff" when they'd send us kids out to play... It's somehow disheartening to find out they were just bullshitting most of the time, although talk about bills and houses and old friends and marriages/ divorces/ kids/ etc. would have been of no interest anyway.
Would I have wanted to be BIG back then? I don't know. Hearing them talk about going out to bars and stuff was kind of fun, but there was something about playing Chinese Freeze Tag and Hide and Seek and catching lightning bugs and riding bikes and playing wiffle ball... simple fun that kids should have.
I suppose if you asked the opposite, would I like to go back and be 'little,' that might be okay for a week, maybe age 12 or 13, before puberty and high school cliques and cars and jobs and all of that shit. A time when one can know a little bit about how the world works, but still have a little bit of innocence.
Yeah, 12 or 13, when we were living down in southwest Arlington, before the move out to the sticks and the boredom east of Burleson [not Eden, to be sure]. I could hang out with Mark Lederman, play football in the street with the kids on his block, ride my back down to the lake and hang out at the park there [which is still there, they fixed it up about ten years ago but damned if I can remember the name - when the drought of 80 hit you could walk quite a ways out and believe it or not, a lot of old Poly Webb Road was still intact under there!], ride my bike over to Mike Fitz's place by Young Jr High and play Dungeons and Dragons or Risk, or have a 15 cent RC cola at the little store there off Little Road. Ride down the Mr T's store and go to the little grill next door and play 2 songs for a quarter on the jukebox [faves: One Way or Another by Blondie, Hot Child In the City or the B side Backstreet Noise by Nick Gilder or Mary Jane by Rick James] and have a soda... back then a can of pop was a quarter. I think we got a buck a week for allowance.
Of course the PC was just becoming available - Mike had one of the first Apples and my Uncle Rich had a TRS 80 that used a cassette tape for data storage - he had a game called Kings and Queens that was neat, and Star Trek... and we had an Atari [what is now known as the Atari 2600] that I used to stay up and play Space Invaders until 2 o'clock in the morning. No internet, though. No cell phones, pagers, CD players... just my Kiss records, FM radio and the telephone to keep up with affairs. And no cable.
I'd like to go to Big Wheel skate rink with Mark and have one of those killer but 'highly illegal' games of Tag we used to play and talk to girls from other schools. I will never forget the name Shay Fussell, though I have forgotten what she looked like. Like two bucks to get in and we'd get a five, which left three bucks for pinball and sodas. Not a bad way to kill four hours on a Saturday afternoon.
But I was a nerd then, too. I could hang out in the library or a book store for a couple of hours, too. Reading all the Rock and Roll encyclopedias or all the music magazines on the racks.
It's sad to think for a second about innocence lost... where did it go? When did it disappear? Was it the first time you had a crush on a pretty girl and she laughed at you? Was it when you got a car and the responsibility of a car and the freedom to leave the house, the neighborhood of your own volition [if you had gas or gas money]? In my case, was it when I realized the serverity of my parents marital problems? Was it having a job [a CRAPPY job doing service at the old Casa Bonita behind Hulen Mall - fetching drink refills and chips and food from the line and then working in the sweltering steamy dish room - all for 3.10 an hour plus a share of tips!] and working odd hours the summer before my senior year? Was it watching all my friends leave for college and not having a clue what I wanted to do?
Yeah, I guess it would be fun to go back for a week or so, maybe the first week of Junior High. Or one of those weeks spent in Pennsylvania and Ohio with my grandparents doing a whole lot of nothing...
I've said before how when I was a kid I thought 'Grown Ups" were out in the kitchen talking about "Important Stuff" when they'd send us kids out to play... It's somehow disheartening to find out they were just bullshitting most of the time, although talk about bills and houses and old friends and marriages/ divorces/ kids/ etc. would have been of no interest anyway.
Would I have wanted to be BIG back then? I don't know. Hearing them talk about going out to bars and stuff was kind of fun, but there was something about playing Chinese Freeze Tag and Hide and Seek and catching lightning bugs and riding bikes and playing wiffle ball... simple fun that kids should have.
I suppose if you asked the opposite, would I like to go back and be 'little,' that might be okay for a week, maybe age 12 or 13, before puberty and high school cliques and cars and jobs and all of that shit. A time when one can know a little bit about how the world works, but still have a little bit of innocence.
Yeah, 12 or 13, when we were living down in southwest Arlington, before the move out to the sticks and the boredom east of Burleson [not Eden, to be sure]. I could hang out with Mark Lederman, play football in the street with the kids on his block, ride my back down to the lake and hang out at the park there [which is still there, they fixed it up about ten years ago but damned if I can remember the name - when the drought of 80 hit you could walk quite a ways out and believe it or not, a lot of old Poly Webb Road was still intact under there!], ride my bike over to Mike Fitz's place by Young Jr High and play Dungeons and Dragons or Risk, or have a 15 cent RC cola at the little store there off Little Road. Ride down the Mr T's store and go to the little grill next door and play 2 songs for a quarter on the jukebox [faves: One Way or Another by Blondie, Hot Child In the City or the B side Backstreet Noise by Nick Gilder or Mary Jane by Rick James] and have a soda... back then a can of pop was a quarter. I think we got a buck a week for allowance.
Of course the PC was just becoming available - Mike had one of the first Apples and my Uncle Rich had a TRS 80 that used a cassette tape for data storage - he had a game called Kings and Queens that was neat, and Star Trek... and we had an Atari [what is now known as the Atari 2600] that I used to stay up and play Space Invaders until 2 o'clock in the morning. No internet, though. No cell phones, pagers, CD players... just my Kiss records, FM radio and the telephone to keep up with affairs. And no cable.
I'd like to go to Big Wheel skate rink with Mark and have one of those killer but 'highly illegal' games of Tag we used to play and talk to girls from other schools. I will never forget the name Shay Fussell, though I have forgotten what she looked like. Like two bucks to get in and we'd get a five, which left three bucks for pinball and sodas. Not a bad way to kill four hours on a Saturday afternoon.
But I was a nerd then, too. I could hang out in the library or a book store for a couple of hours, too. Reading all the Rock and Roll encyclopedias or all the music magazines on the racks.
It's sad to think for a second about innocence lost... where did it go? When did it disappear? Was it the first time you had a crush on a pretty girl and she laughed at you? Was it when you got a car and the responsibility of a car and the freedom to leave the house, the neighborhood of your own volition [if you had gas or gas money]? In my case, was it when I realized the serverity of my parents marital problems? Was it having a job [a CRAPPY job doing service at the old Casa Bonita behind Hulen Mall - fetching drink refills and chips and food from the line and then working in the sweltering steamy dish room - all for 3.10 an hour plus a share of tips!] and working odd hours the summer before my senior year? Was it watching all my friends leave for college and not having a clue what I wanted to do?
Yeah, I guess it would be fun to go back for a week or so, maybe the first week of Junior High. Or one of those weeks spent in Pennsylvania and Ohio with my grandparents doing a whole lot of nothing...
Monday, May 15, 2006
Mother's Day Eve
I loaded up some gear and took off for Mom's Saturday night so I could sleep in rather than get up at 830 for a 1030 brunch.. since it was early I decided to stop in at my/our old gang stomping ground the ORIGINAL No Frills Grill [Green Oaks since there's like six of them now].
Do you have any idea how strange it is going back to the bar where you and your friends were part of the resident bar fly scene a decade ago? Aside from the remodeling/expansion of the bar, more TV's, channels [Speed and OLN? Not just ESPN, the Deuce and FSN?], interactive [poker?] junk, it's just odd to look around and not know the faces. I had been secretly hoping to run into one of two people who might be holding down a bar stool on a Saturday night, but a decade later I guess we would want a little quieter watering hole. So many 'kids' in their mid-twenties, loud, high fiving, 'dawg this, dawg that', cell phone chatting and just generally being people in their twenties holding court at the tables me and my friends used to come in and take over and be loud, obnoxious people in our twenties [or early thirties].
Ryan Adams' Whiskeytown have a song called Avenues on Stranger's Almanac that sums it up as poignantly as Here Comes a Regular by the Replacements:
All the sweethearts in the world
Are out dancing in the places
Where me and all my friends
Go to hide our faces
That's what it feels like to me. The line I came up with is "making memories in some hole in the wall..." Hope I didn't steal it from Toby Keith's I Love This Bar.
Anyway, I caught the highlights of the hockey game and some Sportscenter, had a couple of Rolling Rock drafts and headed out for Burleson the back way down 287 just to run some speed up and blast some Priest. I am still amazed as I drive out that way at how the sprawl is spreading; places that used to be bum-fucked nowhere are now the suburbs complete with grocery stores and Mickey D's and Burger King for the pimply kids to work at.
I take it [a little] easy down roads I have been down a million times, often in physical and psychological conditions [read: drunk or stoned or both] not conducive for safe driving. I am not twenty-five and bulletproof anymore. And though I quizzed Kelly T about Marty being 'Road Rally Thompson' on some of those back roads in Tennessee, I found myself winding up the last two miles out to Mom's just like I was sixteen again, jamming through the gears, winding them up to 3500 - 4000, 70 m.p.h. down roads designed and deteriorated to speed limit 35... but, to paraphrase HST "that's when the weird music begins, when one is out there pushing it to the limits of man and machine and riding along that line where you know one bump or sneeze or slow reaction can send one careening into the abyss...and at that point you either believe in yourself and ride that edge as long as the adrenaline high goes on or you question yourself and pull back."
This is the first Mother's Day my Dad [and his brothers and sister] has no mother to call. He won't say anything about it - that's just not how he is, but I wonder how that makes him feel. I am sad for that. It makes me realize one day it will be me with no Mom to call o have brunch with and that just makes me sadder.
I have been thinking a lot about my late grandmother and my surviving Grandparents. My Grandma Sheets is also having a birthday in a couple of days, how I miss and will miss them and the memories locked in my grey matter can't take the place of a grandma cooked meal or grandpap telling me about the days growing up on Marion Hill. And one day it will be me and my sister that are going to be the old ones and my nieces will be out age and looking at us and pondering their own mortality.
I loaded up some gear and took off for Mom's Saturday night so I could sleep in rather than get up at 830 for a 1030 brunch.. since it was early I decided to stop in at my/our old gang stomping ground the ORIGINAL No Frills Grill [Green Oaks since there's like six of them now].
Do you have any idea how strange it is going back to the bar where you and your friends were part of the resident bar fly scene a decade ago? Aside from the remodeling/expansion of the bar, more TV's, channels [Speed and OLN? Not just ESPN, the Deuce and FSN?], interactive [poker?] junk, it's just odd to look around and not know the faces. I had been secretly hoping to run into one of two people who might be holding down a bar stool on a Saturday night, but a decade later I guess we would want a little quieter watering hole. So many 'kids' in their mid-twenties, loud, high fiving, 'dawg this, dawg that', cell phone chatting and just generally being people in their twenties holding court at the tables me and my friends used to come in and take over and be loud, obnoxious people in our twenties [or early thirties].
Ryan Adams' Whiskeytown have a song called Avenues on Stranger's Almanac that sums it up as poignantly as Here Comes a Regular by the Replacements:
All the sweethearts in the world
Are out dancing in the places
Where me and all my friends
Go to hide our faces
That's what it feels like to me. The line I came up with is "making memories in some hole in the wall..." Hope I didn't steal it from Toby Keith's I Love This Bar.
Anyway, I caught the highlights of the hockey game and some Sportscenter, had a couple of Rolling Rock drafts and headed out for Burleson the back way down 287 just to run some speed up and blast some Priest. I am still amazed as I drive out that way at how the sprawl is spreading; places that used to be bum-fucked nowhere are now the suburbs complete with grocery stores and Mickey D's and Burger King for the pimply kids to work at.
I take it [a little] easy down roads I have been down a million times, often in physical and psychological conditions [read: drunk or stoned or both] not conducive for safe driving. I am not twenty-five and bulletproof anymore. And though I quizzed Kelly T about Marty being 'Road Rally Thompson' on some of those back roads in Tennessee, I found myself winding up the last two miles out to Mom's just like I was sixteen again, jamming through the gears, winding them up to 3500 - 4000, 70 m.p.h. down roads designed and deteriorated to speed limit 35... but, to paraphrase HST "that's when the weird music begins, when one is out there pushing it to the limits of man and machine and riding along that line where you know one bump or sneeze or slow reaction can send one careening into the abyss...and at that point you either believe in yourself and ride that edge as long as the adrenaline high goes on or you question yourself and pull back."
This is the first Mother's Day my Dad [and his brothers and sister] has no mother to call. He won't say anything about it - that's just not how he is, but I wonder how that makes him feel. I am sad for that. It makes me realize one day it will be me with no Mom to call o have brunch with and that just makes me sadder.
I have been thinking a lot about my late grandmother and my surviving Grandparents. My Grandma Sheets is also having a birthday in a couple of days, how I miss and will miss them and the memories locked in my grey matter can't take the place of a grandma cooked meal or grandpap telling me about the days growing up on Marion Hill. And one day it will be me and my sister that are going to be the old ones and my nieces will be out age and looking at us and pondering their own mortality.
Saturday, May 13, 2006
Metal Health
Okay, a quick follow up to the few emails I received from the Nashville gang mnetioned a few names and I have a question on the heavy metal issue....
Scott H threw up three good chices right away: Dio, Accept- remember Balls to the Wall and the world's shortest frontman "gotta be a metal band with names like Udo Dirkscnieder, Herman Frank and Wolf Hoffman", and Ozzy's Blizard of Oz period.
Now I me personally never got into Dio; it all sounded just like a rehash of everything he did with Rainbow, but that's just me. But Ozzy's Blizzard band with Randy Rhodes and Bob Daisley was an awesome band! Ozzy has always found talented guitarists to work with - Randy, Jake E. Lee and now Zakk Wylde.
Marty chimed in with Whitesnake - if you throw out the ballads: "the two opening chords of Still of the Night is the quintessential metal sound, and Motley Crue - "
Uh, well, a lot of people like Motley - I don't. "Shout - shout - shout -SHOUT AT THE DEVIL!" Uh, no thanks. Ratt, too. Well, the first Ratt was okay. I liked Lack of Communication. Ratt just seemed like Aerosmith with one of those awful 80's distortion boxes that made all the guitars shound like ... I dunno. It's the reason all of those bands sound the same to me.
Leisa chimed in with Krokus - I remember them being a big band even though I can't remember a thing they did besides a cover of Sweet's Ballroom Blitz.
So I am sitting here with my coffee this morning and I have to ask about Quiet Riot. Now Quiet Riot just seemed to me to be louder versions of Slade. Okay, that was their schtick. But since no one can say what heavy metal is, do they countas Heavy Metal?
Probably for the 80's version of metal, yes. Sometime shortly after this everything became faster and edgier thanks to Metallica, Anthrax, Slayer, Megadeath and everything like Quiet Riot, Aerosmith, Bon Jovi, Faster Pussycat, Guns N Roses was just mainstream hard rock... just for the record, I would consider Black Sabbath the forerunners of Heavy Metal along with Deep Purple in their glory years, but NOT Led Zeppelin! Why not Led Zeppelin? Mostly because that was the most talented band on the planet and they could rock you hard or they could hit you with something like Bron-Y-Aur Stomp off Zeppelin III or Going to California or Over the Hills and Far Away.
Call your Mom's for Mother's Day!
ADDENDA:
Okay, a quick follow up to the few emails I received from the Nashville gang mnetioned a few names and I have a question on the heavy metal issue....
Scott H threw up three good chices right away: Dio, Accept- remember Balls to the Wall and the world's shortest frontman "gotta be a metal band with names like Udo Dirkscnieder, Herman Frank and Wolf Hoffman", and Ozzy's Blizard of Oz period.
Now I me personally never got into Dio; it all sounded just like a rehash of everything he did with Rainbow, but that's just me. But Ozzy's Blizzard band with Randy Rhodes and Bob Daisley was an awesome band! Ozzy has always found talented guitarists to work with - Randy, Jake E. Lee and now Zakk Wylde.
Marty chimed in with Whitesnake - if you throw out the ballads: "the two opening chords of Still of the Night is the quintessential metal sound, and Motley Crue - "
Their early stuff rocked, even if they looked stupid. I liked the deep cuts. What about In the Beginning - personifies metal. What about the Helter Skelter cover, huh? Bastard, Red Hot - makes you want to go out and raise hell.
Then they starting looking cool and their music got stupid.
Uh, well, a lot of people like Motley - I don't. "Shout - shout - shout -SHOUT AT THE DEVIL!" Uh, no thanks. Ratt, too. Well, the first Ratt was okay. I liked Lack of Communication. Ratt just seemed like Aerosmith with one of those awful 80's distortion boxes that made all the guitars shound like ... I dunno. It's the reason all of those bands sound the same to me.
Leisa chimed in with Krokus - I remember them being a big band even though I can't remember a thing they did besides a cover of Sweet's Ballroom Blitz.
So I am sitting here with my coffee this morning and I have to ask about Quiet Riot. Now Quiet Riot just seemed to me to be louder versions of Slade. Okay, that was their schtick. But since no one can say what heavy metal is, do they countas Heavy Metal?
Probably for the 80's version of metal, yes. Sometime shortly after this everything became faster and edgier thanks to Metallica, Anthrax, Slayer, Megadeath and everything like Quiet Riot, Aerosmith, Bon Jovi, Faster Pussycat, Guns N Roses was just mainstream hard rock... just for the record, I would consider Black Sabbath the forerunners of Heavy Metal along with Deep Purple in their glory years, but NOT Led Zeppelin! Why not Led Zeppelin? Mostly because that was the most talented band on the planet and they could rock you hard or they could hit you with something like Bron-Y-Aur Stomp off Zeppelin III or Going to California or Over the Hills and Far Away.
Call your Mom's for Mother's Day!
ADDENDA:
man I passed by this in Best Buy today and I had to throw down for it -- speakers screeching, ears ringing, cranked up to 20 in my little two seater truck --- HELL YEAH!
I am sorry it does not use the Unleashed in the East live cuts of Victim of Changes, Diamonds and Rust and Exciter, but that's an excuse to buy that classic.
Makes me miss Mark wedge.
Essential Judas Priest
Disc 1
1.Judas Rising 4:15
2.Breaking the Law 2:35
3.Hell Bent for Leather 2:43
4.Diamonds and Rust 3:26
5.Victim of Changes 7:45
6.Love Bites 4:48
7.Heading out to the Highway 3:47
8.Ram It Down 4:51
9.Beyond the Realms of Death 6:52
10.You've Got Another Thing Comin' 5:10
11.Jawbreaker 3:27
12.A Touch of Evil 5:45
13.Delivering the Goods 4:16
14.United 3:36
15.Turbo Lover 5:33
16.Painkiller 6:05
17.Metal Gods 4:00
Disc 2
1.The Hellion 0:42
2.Electric Eye 3:39
3.Living After Midnight 3:32
4.Freewheel Burning 4:25
5.Exciter 5:33
6.The Green Manalishi 3:23
7.Blood Red Skies 7:52
8.Night Crawler 5:45
9.Sinner 6:45
10.Hot Rockin' 3:18
11.The Sentinel 5:05
12.Before the Dawn 3:23
13.Hell Patrol 3:36
14.The Ripper 2:52
15.Screaming for Vengeance 4:45
16.Out in the Cold 6:27
17.Revolution 4:41
Tuesday, May 09, 2006
Tales of a Fifth Grade Nobody
So I was sitting here listening to ELO
I am 10 or 11 - I get my first stereo for my birthday, a JC Penny turntable, AM/FM, 8 track! I am grounded [probably for bad grades], but I get my records back for a day to test out the system and this is one of those records.
I remember getting in trouble for laughing in the bathroom: me and Greg Hill [two doors down] and [name withheld because I am a nice guy] were BSing and taking a whiz after lunch and Name Withheld looks down and sees he hasn’t lifted his shirt tail [? The front of a button down shirt where it is supposed to be tucked into your pants] and he is pissing all over it and its dripping down onto his shoes. Well, he makes an exclamation about it and me and Greg just busted out laughing so hard we couldnt stop!
Spear grass fights at the bus stop, yellow vinyl and chrome dining room furniture, listening to WLS out of Chicago on the AM at bed time, all the kids in the apartment complex meeting and telling lies on those big green transformer boxes, riding my bike over to Renea Childs house and hanging out on the street corner with her and Ernest McKnight on long hot summer nights.square dancing in the fifth grade production [Renae was my partner - good God she was pretty], we did a country / Hee Haw take off, me and Ernest doing corny jokes in the cornfield; me and Ernest doing a comedy skit in the talent show - bits of Rosanne Rosannadana, the Redd Foxx show [anyone else remember You doesnt have to call me Johnson! My full name is Raymond J Johnson Junior - now you can call me Ray or you can call me Jay... ] and Bill Cosby.
Saturday Night Live with the ORIGINAL Not Ready for Prime Time Players!!!! Finding Sly and the Family Stone Greatest Hits in my parents records and loving it; It's 1978 and I found FM radio and the great stuff there : Cheap Trick was all over everything, Fleetwood Mac, Steve Miller, Ted Nugent, Zebra, Foghat, Heart, Led Zeppelin, Earth Wind & Fire, Wings…
Deaf Leopard & Metal Month
Is Pryomania REALLY 23 years old? Hysteria almost 20? Say what you will about Def Leppard not being 'metal'. but those are two fucking GREAT rock and roll records.
Now Judas Priest's Screaming for Vengence, British Steel and Defenders of the Faith .. not that's metal! Iron Maiden's Number of the Beast and Powerslave... the Scorpions brilliant Blackout, Everything Black Sabbath did before 1976, Kiss Alive!,... tell me what else!
Oh! I missed Van Halen [except Van Halen II, -- that BLOWS]!
Tuesday, May 02, 2006
On Writing---
I've been working on a piece for about two weeks, which I am not going to post -- too long and too personal -- but I did want to post a bit of it:
Stones River
I went to a place
Where the history happened
Some men forever remembered and revered
Some men forever lost
Not a name in a book or a headstone grey
Roads now run though fields once farmed
Then burned and torn by battle
Poisoned with blood and fire
Eerie silence eventually fell
The wind carrying away the souls of the dying
Relics and stories
Of death and of glory
The brave and the fallen
Of both sides
A war long decided
But the issues remain
With new names
On a Lighter Note [or And now for something completely different]:
So I am flipping channels last night and I come across The Alternative [show] on VH! Classic and they're playing U2's Two Hearts Beat As One and then they play R.E.M.'s Get Up and it hits me.
On a previous post I have raved about bands not doing anything creative after about ten years together [though my individual tallying comes up with after about 6-8]. Now here's two of the biggest bands of the 80s in these videos, one on their breakthrough album [U2 - War] and one releasing the album most pressure in their career [R.E.M. - Green]. Why is this important?
Well, R.E.M. had just done their breakthrough and switched from the quasi-indie I.R.S. records to the major major Warner Bros. [And I am sure when the WB guys heard the blatant commercialism of this and subsiquent records they went apeshit] They were under pressure to SELL RECORDS. And they did sell out and sell lots of records, but how many hardcore R.E.M. fans have stayed the course?
U2 would face the issue and would follow a similar line. They broke through with War, then made an artistic staement album [Unforgettable Fire], their 'We Can Change the World' album [Joshua Tree], cleared the decks with the live album [Rattle and Hum], then went and did another artistic album [Achtung Baby] and since then have sold tons of records and concert tickets, but what is missing?
My contention is that 'After an artist makes that breakthrough, they lose that hunger to make it big, they lose their edge and become ingrained as part of the pop / musical culture and consiquently become concerned with numbers and making statements about the IMF and Third World Debt and Greenpeace INSTEAD OF MAKING GOOD MUSIC.' Heard anything Aerosmith has done in the last 15 years? R.E.M.'s Up?
When your record label comes to you and says 'You can only issue an album every two years so that you can keep the public hungry for your work,' you're DONE.
The playoffs!
The Western conference may see al 4 of the top seeds fall in the first round - Detroit, Dallas, Cagary and Nashville. I wonder if that's ever happened before. Calgary has run up against a team that can score in Anahiem and that's going to be trouble because Calgary relies too heavily on their goalie.
Carolina may survive in the East, the Rangers ran up against the hottest team on ice in the NJ Devils - see how they react after a week off. Last season's Cup champ Tampa Bay Lightning got bounced; they never played like a hungry team and their goal tending was not as good as last season.
Rookie goalies seems to be the theme of the playoffs - Cam Ward taking over in Carolina, Ray Emery covering for Hasek in Ottawa, Christobal Huet playing well in Montreal, Illya Bryzgalov taking over last night in Anahiem.. I guess these guys don't KNOW they're not supposed to be winning.
I never thought I'd type this, but GO DUCKS!!!! [Quack, quack]
I've been working on a piece for about two weeks, which I am not going to post -- too long and too personal -- but I did want to post a bit of it:
I started this to write some piece imitating Bukowski. I wanted to brag about fucking and carrying on, but the worm seems to have turned this into a character study on myself. And I don’t think I am a very interesting character to study unless one is looking for a fucked up loser. Which is not really true, but not really false either. But in facing the truth about myself, I have found some insight on myself and on my writing.
Writing gives me a voice from which I can speak without too much fear. I can assume a know-it-all persona and cover all my insecurities and inadequacies. Some people adopt these personas and live them. Some people try to cover their inadequacies with big houses, fast cars, hair transplants and/ or boob jobs. Some people fill the holes in their lives by working out a lot or eating a lot or drinking a lot or smoking dope or having sex with anything that moves or putting other people down. I observe and I write about it. I hold the mirror up to others and myself and ask if we’re seeing the same thing. And only in writing do I have the confidence to say what I might never say in person. And since other people can’t see my physical being, they have to take me as they find me on my various BLOGs and web sites or whatever. They might think I am full of shit or they might agree with me. That’s the beauty. I once read “One man’s truth is another man’s belly laugh.” That’s what blogging is all about. I’m putting my voice out there. I write because I have passion one way or another. Either something moves me so much I have to write about it, or it pisses me off so much I have to write about it. Even the notebooks and scarps of paper that litter my apartment, things that no one may ever read, things that will only be found when I am dead, SOMETHING forced me to get out a pen and paper and write it down. Either something in my brain or heart or soul or some coincidence puts words in my head that I feel need to be, nay, they DEMAND to be written down.
Keith Richards said he doesn’t write songs, they basically come in on some aerial that he is a channel to. Sometimes that’s how I feel about my writing. I’ll see a sunset or a beautiful girl or someplace like
Each of us has a unique perspective, a unique point of view for seeing the universe. My job is just to open you up to a possible view you’re never seen before.
Stones River
I went to a place
Where the history happened
Some men forever remembered and revered
Some men forever lost
Not a name in a book or a headstone grey
Roads now run though fields once farmed
Then burned and torn by battle
Poisoned with blood and fire
Eerie silence eventually fell
The wind carrying away the souls of the dying
Relics and stories
Of death and of glory
The brave and the fallen
Of both sides
A war long decided
But the issues remain
With new names
On a Lighter Note [or And now for something completely different]:
So I am flipping channels last night and I come across The Alternative [show] on VH! Classic and they're playing U2's Two Hearts Beat As One and then they play R.E.M.'s Get Up and it hits me.
On a previous post I have raved about bands not doing anything creative after about ten years together [though my individual tallying comes up with after about 6-8]. Now here's two of the biggest bands of the 80s in these videos, one on their breakthrough album [U2 - War] and one releasing the album most pressure in their career [R.E.M. - Green]. Why is this important?
Well, R.E.M. had just done their breakthrough and switched from the quasi-indie I.R.S. records to the major major Warner Bros. [And I am sure when the WB guys heard the blatant commercialism of this and subsiquent records they went apeshit] They were under pressure to SELL RECORDS. And they did sell out and sell lots of records, but how many hardcore R.E.M. fans have stayed the course?
U2 would face the issue and would follow a similar line. They broke through with War, then made an artistic staement album [Unforgettable Fire], their 'We Can Change the World' album [Joshua Tree], cleared the decks with the live album [Rattle and Hum], then went and did another artistic album [Achtung Baby] and since then have sold tons of records and concert tickets, but what is missing?
My contention is that 'After an artist makes that breakthrough, they lose that hunger to make it big, they lose their edge and become ingrained as part of the pop / musical culture and consiquently become concerned with numbers and making statements about the IMF and Third World Debt and Greenpeace INSTEAD OF MAKING GOOD MUSIC.' Heard anything Aerosmith has done in the last 15 years? R.E.M.'s Up?
When your record label comes to you and says 'You can only issue an album every two years so that you can keep the public hungry for your work,' you're DONE.
The playoffs!
The Western conference may see al 4 of the top seeds fall in the first round - Detroit, Dallas, Cagary and Nashville. I wonder if that's ever happened before. Calgary has run up against a team that can score in Anahiem and that's going to be trouble because Calgary relies too heavily on their goalie.
Carolina may survive in the East, the Rangers ran up against the hottest team on ice in the NJ Devils - see how they react after a week off. Last season's Cup champ Tampa Bay Lightning got bounced; they never played like a hungry team and their goal tending was not as good as last season.
Rookie goalies seems to be the theme of the playoffs - Cam Ward taking over in Carolina, Ray Emery covering for Hasek in Ottawa, Christobal Huet playing well in Montreal, Illya Bryzgalov taking over last night in Anahiem.. I guess these guys don't KNOW they're not supposed to be winning.
I never thought I'd type this, but GO DUCKS!!!! [Quack, quack]