I was watching Dan Rather’s The Big Interview last night – Dan really does some good interviews on this show, catch it on AXS TV. On this John Fogerty interview, ol’ John piped up that as soon as he wrote Proud Mary he knew it was a classic. Classic. “So what makes a classic?” Dan had to ask. John thought about it for a minute and he said “I don’t know if I can put it into words. But you know it when you hear it.”

And with a few words, John Fogerty confirmed what I have been contemplating for a little while now. Any list of the 10, 100, 500, 1000 Greatest Anythings is total bullshit. Any list that says 10, 100, 1000 books you have to read or records you need to here or places you need to see [etc., etc.] before you die is also bullshit and needs to be ignored. [ESPECIALLY if it’s put out by some magazine with the initials R.S. that hasn’t been relevant since the end of Reagan Administration but keeps on churnin’ stuff out there anyway.]

I say that with some tongue in cheek because sometimes I do read [or view on You Tube] like Pete Pardo’s Sea Of Tranquility where he will or he and one of his buddies will pick their 10 favorite Thin Lizzy songs, Aerosmith songs or rate the Deep Purple studio albums. That’s fun. And they’re not putting it out as any gospel truth. As a matter of fact, they quite frequently say “this is our list, opinions just for fun, disagree if you like.” [And many do but the did drive me to re-evaluate Jefferson Starship’s Freedom At Point Zero. Meaning I found it as better than I recalled with some good moments but not earthshaking.] And in response I wrote some lists of ranking various catalogs of classic rock artists. They were fun to think about and a reason to revisit some albums but I don’t expect anyone takes my lists as the gospel truth [either]. Honestly I assume anyone reading my blather is just bored to tears because they’re reading the brain droppings of one lonely music lover with too much time on his hands, a guy writing just to fuckin’ write.

Taking one of the earliest songs I can recall being in love with – there is no way to explain how I feel when Marvin Gaye’s I Heard It Through the Grapevine comes on. I can ramble about the chill up my spine when those smokey electric piano notes creep out of the speakers. I can try to explain the heartbeat of the kick drum and the high hat [and the space I swore there was a rattlesnaking tambourine in the intro but I seem to be mistaken. And I checked the mono and stereo versions. But there are different mixes of these all over the place too.] Then the rising tension as the guitars and the horns and strings rise up for a few seconds. And then the bass kicks in carrying the whole melody. You have heard people talk for years about how great the Motown bassist James Jamerson was. Listen to this bass line.

And then there’s Marvin himself. How can one describe Marvin Gaye’s vocal performance here? How his voice [higher than his normal range, insisted on by producer Norman Whitfield] just clamps the top down on all of that great instrumentation like the whipped cream and the cherry on top of a sundae. How it soars, swoops and dives like an eagle on the wind. The phrasing – “I can’t heeeeeeeeeeeelp, bin confused…’ Oh man that just slays!

I mean it’s sold millions of copies so it has connected with a lot of people in 55 years. But me trying to explain it is like trying to describe a rainbow to someone who has lived in a darkened cave all their life. And yes, all of those people can agree man that’s a great song and compile their lists of favorites and compare them and tally them in some sort of points system to come up with “The Greatest However Many Songs Chosen By One Set Of People” and have someone write a few paragraphs trying to summarize the song [like I just did]. 

But I get that same feeling with other ‘agreed upon great songs’ like the Stones Jumpin’ Jack Flash, the Doobies Rockin’ Down the Highway, James Taylor’s take of Handy Man, Jerry Jeff Walker’s Desperados Waiting For A Train… but I also get that from deep down ‘nothing’ tracks like Three Dog Night doing Ain’t That A Lotta Love, little two minutes fifteen second filler [the soulful Corey Wells on lead vocals] on Suitable For Framing.  Or Jaded Strumpet, a second side filler on Steppenwolf’s For Ladies Only. Or Jailbait, lead track from Aerosmith’s Joe Perry-less album Rock In A Hard Place. Hell, Aerosmith’s 2001 single Jaded! And I snarl and cringe at almost everything after 1989’s Pump album. Don’t get me wrong, Jaded is no Rats In the Cellar in the grand scheme of great Aerosmith songs but it’s a damn catchy song.

I guess it’s my fault for having taken such things waaaayyy too seriously when I was young. I wanted to amass the greatest coolest music collection ever – well, among my friends anyway. But I read those lists and buy or listen to some of those records and scratch my head and say “ I don’t get it.” The Beach Boys Pet Sounds for example.  When I read that it had inspired the Beatles to make Revolver and Sgt. Pepper, I guess my expectation was for something different from what I heard when I put Pet Sounds on. [For the record when I heard the Zombies very psychedelic Odyssey And Oracle, I said “This is what I always expected Pet Sounds to sound like.”]

For one thing, the Beach Boys are a vocal group. A damn good one. But they don’t rock. Or roll. [A criticism I once heard of the Eagles though they could occasionally rock once Joe Walsh joined the band.] A trio of undeniably great songs like Sloop John B, God Only Knows and Wouldn’t It Be Nice. And I will admit that the songs on Pet Sounds are unlike almost anything that was going on in music then. For a Pop [as in Popular] record it’s quite ambitious. It’s an influential record in a way. “Look pop music can go far beyond three chords and ‘I love you, you’re so fine’ lyrics.” I get it. But Pet Sounds would not even make my top 500 albums. Maybe 1000 if I had to put a pen to paper and ‘in no particular order and excluding compilation records.’ In fact, I do not own a copy. I who desired to have the coolest record collection ever do not own a copy of one of the most influential albums in rock history.

But I don’t own The Velvet Underground & Nico album either [merely okay in my list]. Or Nirvana’s Nevermind. I don’t really care for Radiohead either.

Some of the things I fond enjoyable would probably perplex a lot of the people who do make lists. Decidedly ‘uncool’ records ala aforementioned Rock In A Hard Place album David Bowie’s Never Let Me Down and the Stones Black and Blue albums. Barry Manilow’s Mandy – oh yes, I love that song! And that’s fine, too. I’m sure some of them have things in their collections we call ‘guilty pleasures,’ things so uncoo0l we feel ‘guilty’ for loving them.

Anyway, my point here was “like what you wanna like and fuck what everyone else says about it.” Unless someone is stuck in the car with you on a three day cross country drive, what anyone else thinks about your musical taste means nothing.