The Curmudgeon I Have Become

It's September 12th [well 13th now - and good morning to you!] and the start of the football season. And while I consider myself a fringe fan - really a fan of the Pittsburgh Steelers more than "Football" or the NFL. But a week in - two if you count college football, and you might as well - I am all ready worn out by it all.

First, I live in a major sports market that has none of my favorite teams in any sport. The Dallas [Arlington? North Texas?] Cowboys? No, thanks. But from the day training camp starts until their exit from the season, whenever it is I am awash in the media hype about them. Not just the sports stations but the tie-ins to supermarkets and all the news broadcasts. The only thing that wears me out more is the American Idol minute on the local Fox station. American Idol has NO FUCKING PLACE on the news. *sigh*

I can take or leave baseball. When I was a kid I was a Pirates fan but 18 or 19 losing seasons leaves a bad taste in your mouth. I watch some, a couple innings here or there but never the Yankees or the Red Sox. God I hate them both.

In hockey, I like the Pittsburgh Penguins. I stuck through some terrible seasons between Mario and Sid the Kid, so I am glad to see them return to respectabilty. But I find the Dallas Stars 'fan' is as fair weather as the Dallas Cowboys fan. It only took one short, loud-mouthed fan to turn me off of them. Thought I respect them. I liked Sergei Zubov, Mike Modano, Daryl Sydor...

I don't follow basketball at all, so who cares. I hate that the NBA playoffs take over T.V. when the NHL playoffs are so much more exciting.

Anyway, it's two weeks into the season and I'm all ready tired of football. Because there has to be a game on every night now. College football on Monday - Labor Day at that! Tuesday night, Thursday night, Friday, Saturday, Sunday - just TRY and get away from it! But if there's not a game [or replay of a game] on, there's the NFL show ot The Cowboys Press Conference Show or The Analysis Of the Week Past Show or the Predictions For the Next Week Show or The Injury Show ["Well Doc, thanks for that update on the cause and treatment of Turf Toe! Coming up next: 'The difference between a groin strain and a quad strain!"]

And as I say every year, Chris Berman... is there any worse whipping than his "WHOOOOP!" or "HE -- COULD -- GO -- ALL -- THE --WAY!"?

As if it wasn't bad enough with college and pro games, ESPN is now showing high school games. HIGH SCHOOL FOOTBALL ON NATIONAL TELEVISION?!?!? Give me a break. What the hell are we teaching kids with this? I see this and I am reminded of the great line from North Dallas Forty: "Every time I start thinking this is a game, you tell me it's a business; every time I start thinking it's a business, you tell me it's a game! It's driving me crazy!"

I can't watch the games right now. I can't take the Chinese Water Torture of the pace of the game, especially the last two minutes of a half. [Which is PART of the reason I can't watch basketball, but I just find basketball BORING. Dribble, dribble pass, pass, shoot, basket. Ho hum!] I can't take six replays of the play I just saw while they huddle and call the next play. I certainly can't take all the talking. Yap yap yap! "That grass sure is green today, isn't it Fred?" "It sure is really green grass, Tom. I once played on some greener grass in Cincinnati in 1997, though..." Zzzzzzzzzzzz.

So good viewing, football fans. I'll be watching NCIS and The Big Bang Theory and waiting for the NHL to start up again.