“Where have all the good times gone?” A letter to a long lost friend
Indeed, the question is “Where has all the fun gone” period, but for our discussion, the greater question is ‘What the heck happened to rock and roll?”
Yes, it’s been a long time since we sat and chewed the fat on the subject. To the best on my recollection, before the flannel clad, unshaven Generation X brats embraced Nirvana and Pearl Jam and deemed that Cobain kid as the “Next Spokesman for His Generation” and watched as the thorny crown they placed on his head shattered in a shotgun blast. Is that too harsh? Maybe. But the kid didn’t have it in him to be an emotional recluse like Dylan or larger than life like Springsteen or even hide behind an “alcoholic boob” façade like my beloved Paul Westerberg. I mean I feel for the guy in that he was the “lonely kid who suffered so much for what he did” as Robbie Robertson once wrote [Stage Fright], but his band wasn’t what everyone claimed; they weren’t punk, they weren’t the ‘saviors of rock and roll’ [though selling six million and kicking the door open for a bunch of other flannel clad navel gazer bands probably kept the ‘Music Industry’ from drying up for five years there]… I’m not sure what they were. I’m not sure at 25 that I was supposed to ‘get it.’ Black Sabbath sounding bands, I could get; not Nirvana.
Oh, rock and roll was dying [again] was going before them. We were tired of the party all the time hairspray bands and it was pretty clear critical college radio darlings were not going to sell the tons of records needed to keep the music industry giants alive unless they polished their apples and played fairly mainstream, like REM chose to do. Matter of fact I recall ‘The Music Industry’ holding its breath for another Guns ‘N Roses record that turned out to be the sprawling unfocused Use Your Illusion records. The rise of the Seattle sound, heavy swirling Black Sabbath influenced bands like Alice in Chains, Stone Temple Pilots, the criminally unheard Gruntruck and Soundgrarden along with Pearl Jam’s raging against the machine effectively and mercifully killed the ‘hairspray bands’ [except Bon Jovi and Def Leppard], but they also sucked all the fun out of rock and roll. What’s the last song you can think of with ‘party’ or even ‘rock’ in the title? One just popped into my mind: You’ve Got Me Rocking by the Rolling Stones [1996], but they’re a hold over band [see Cheap Trick, below].
Don’t get me wrong, songs like I Wanna Rock [Twisted Sister] , Nothin’ But A Good Time’[Poison], Rock and Roll All Night [Kiss] and Rock and Roll Party in the Streets [Axe?] were mindless and stupid, but they were harmless. Even when Rush, Genesis, Yes, ELP, et al were trying to bore us [although I think with enough drugs some of that could sound interesting, but that would take about ½ the tea in China] to death with 12 minute songs like ‘Opus to the Grandeur of the Electric Triangle,’ there was still fun, mindless and harmless rock and roll being made like Cheap Trick. The fact that Cheap Trick is STILL making mostly harmless [but only half good] records is not the point here; they are holdovers from another era. Same as the Kinks and the Rolling Stones. Aerosmith, however, has seen fit to join the other side. They’re making unapologetically commercial records. They’re being seen at the Super Bowl with Brittany and Justin and Nelly. They won’t quit playing Walk This Way. For some reason I was encouraged by the single Jaded. It sounded fresh and it looked like the band could do something more than they did. That’s the frustrating part: You know what they can do, what they’re capable of, but they’re slaves to the Corporate Master now. And it’s killed a once great band. But I also think Joe Perry could be a man and stand up to Steven Tyler and tell him to shut up once in a while, to really BE the Keith Richards to Tyler’s Jagger.
I’ve been dabbling in country music recently. There’s something happening there now that they’ve decided that electric guitars are here to stay. But they’re getting stuck in the same ‘pretty boy’ rut that’s gumming up pop music. The Dixie Chicks and Toby Keith are pretty good and there’s a bunch of Texans keeping things interesting, folks like Robert Earl Keen, Pat Green and Cross Canadian Ragweed [well, they’re Okies, but they’re okay]. Plus I am finding the old school outlaw country guys like Jerry Jeff Walker, Willie Nelson, Hank Jr. and Billy Joe Shaver. But my problem now is that I am more interested in good songs, which I am finding on Wilco and Paul Westerberg and re-issues of the Uncle Tupelo and Elvis Costello catalogs. [What a TREASURE I have found in Elvis! I wonder now why I didn’t have all these records before, but I wonder if I could appreciate them then as I can now.]
So what is the current state of rock and roll? Is it dead and buried or is it out of town and the kids are having a big old party? What I can stand to hear of today’s music is all bass… all the guitars are tuned down, the bass drum is all electronic THOOM DOOM that the rappers all like [don’t even get me started on M&M and all that crap, although if the idea is ‘this is gonna drive your parents nuts and define a generation gap,’ well it succeeds in SPADES]. This used to be the kick drum, but who uses real drums anymore besides the third wave of garage bands like the Strokes [who have one or two really good songs that they somehow turned into a whole album, but they need to learn another chord REAL FAST], Hives, White Stripes… none of whom have impressed me. Or it’s pretty boys and girls in tight clothes or various states of undress. Hmm, now that I think about it, that is vapid, mindless, stupid and harmless… I may have just shot my own argument in the foot.
On the other hand, rock and roll seems to be cyclical thing, every so often it turns and devours itself. Usually about the time one generation quits buying music CDs so they can pay the mortgage, ‘The Industry’ comes up with the next big thing or scene to capture the interest of the 16 year old. The interesting thing about this period is the emergence of the Internet as a viable tool for exposing people to new music, allowing an incredibly diverse universe of artists [not all musicians are artists and vice-versa] to be consumed. But ‘The Music Industry’ doesn’t want the masses to have this tool because it goes completely against the way the industry is set up. TMI will no longer be able to set the trends and control the spin to garner large dollars for their greedy stockholders. Don’t believe for a SECOND that the RIAA suing people over ‘copyright violations’ has ANYTHING to do with protecting ‘The Artist’ or ‘The Artist’s Work.’ It is all about protecting the music industry recouping the dollars they put into ‘Artist Development’ which they don’t do anymore because they buy artists from the indie labels. It is about keeping a dinosaur system that has all ready devoured its own from becoming an extinct dinosaur. The small independents are probably right where they need to be for Internet sales and allowing samples and all that and being in the right place for the future. But the Big 5 [3, depending on how you count] aren’t in position for Internet sales, in spite of Apple’s iTunes selling 10 million downloads at a buck a pop. [This is now being held back from PC owners as the Beatles Apple Corps suing Apple Computers over the name Apple, stating iTunes is violating a 1991 agreement that allowed Apple Computers to use the name Apple as long as Apple did not get into the ‘music business.’] And anyway, the Big 5/3 are only interested in selling yesterday’s hits re-remastered so you can own it a fourth time and they make easy money on something all ready long paid for.
Anyway, getting back to the original question: “What happened to rock and roll?” This was a puzzling question until I had a talk with Holey Mikey the Amazing Pierced Boy. Creep popped out with “It’s been destroyed by the commercialization and idolization perpetrated by the music industry. Kids today want shock rock, they want rap-rock, they want pseudo-punk; they don’t LIKE [what used to be known as] rock.” He also blamed the record companies for forcing bands down on people and “as soon as the flavor of the week band starts losing popularity, they have someone ready to take their place. That’s what’s on the radio and MTV, it must be good.”
Mikey went on to explain that part of this comes from the kids being taught from day one not to be emotional. Their parents are both off working and that emotional people are weak. But they have these emotions and they don’t have an outlet. And he played me some tunes. I asked what the answer was. It’s one thing to say “I feel like you do” but another to offer an answer or an idea. “We need some garage bands with guitars and drums,” he told me. Well, that’s going on, sort of. But what I find missing from this whole thing is that lightning rod, shake up the world band, the great unifying IT like the Beatles.
And maybe that’s it. We discussed where this splintering began and I think we have narrowed the period down to 1986/87, with the rise of Run DMC, Anthrax’s crossing the rap-metal barrier and the rise of the Beastie Boys. Now everything is so pigeon holed there is no real ‘Rock’ anymore. You’ve got the Emo bands like Good Charlotte and Jimmy Eats World, but they lack the introspection of the Replacements. Westerberg learned to put his heart out on his sleeve around the time of Let It Be. Is there anyone out there who could throw out “look me in the eyes and tell me that you’re satisfied’ [Unsatisfied]? ANGER, yes. Remember Fionna Apple and Alanis Morisette and how pissed off they were? John Lydon once quipped ‘Anger is an energy,’ but he’s notorious for not offering any answers either. Anger we have, but not introspection or answers. Have the kids today gotten to the point of Pink Floyd’s The Wall, afraid to be “caught red handed showing feelings”?
Mike mentioned Woodstock 99 and those people destroying everything. I tried to tell him that people went to Woodstock looking for something they were missing, to make a connection with some MAGIC THING or Ghost of Protests Past that would make their lives have meaning or point them at an answer. And when all they got was $ 5 water and $ 10 hamburgers, they realized they had been duped. Which does not excuse people for burning and looting. But it does show that there are some people looking for answers instead of sinking into a dope induced, Play Station fed stupor.
I asked, “Who cares anymore Mike? The kids don’t want to know ‘the ones we love the best/ are the ones we’ll lay to rest/ and visit their graves on holidays at best/ the ones who love us least/ are the one’s we’ll die to please/ if it’s any consolation, I don’t begin to understand them’. [‘Bastards of Young’ – Replacements]” Mike, being a fairly intelligent individual in spite of appearances, said, “Someone should keep reminding people that it’s there. Someone has to keep telling the kids about real music.”
I don’t know anymore. I still have some hope because there are bands like the Goo Goo Dolls, Foo Fighters, Dallas band Nope and my friend Nate who still play it like the Stones, Faces and the ‘Mats did. I know there’s an untapped underground of people who still listen to Cheap Trick, the Smithereens, the Black Crowes and AC/DC and wonder why there are no bands like that anymore. Then again, there is the crowd that listens to ‘The Bone’ and sing along with Sammy Hagar, Van Halen, Journey, Styx, REO Speedwagon, Boston, Billy Squier, etc and think they are still rockin’. The same dudes who wear their Van Halen 1984 or Hagar Kicks Ass ’85 tour jerseys changing the oil in their driveway on Saturday morning in Burleson. Which raises an interesting connundrum. I saw X last winter at Trees, a small club about the size of a high school gym [all four originals touring for the first time since 1985] and they played great, but they played so loud my ears literally rang for three days. It was way TOO loud. And if it was too loud, does that make me ‘too old?’
I took Mikey to CD Warehouse so I could pick up my latest Elvis re-issue, Trust, and he was asking the counter guy about ordering something called Day Glo Abortions and ragging me for buying Train. But then we were discussing punk with the counter guy, as I was considering a Damned double CD [decided against, really Damned Damned Damned is their best and I own that] and Mikey was able to discuss the Ramones, the Clash and Fear, so maybe I am having a positive impact [even though he rarely plays anything that good when I am in the car with him and he thinks Suicidal Tendencies are punk].
So I guess with Lester Bangs dead twenty years, but finally getting some respect and Joe Strummer recently deceased, that leaves ME to carry the torch for ‘Old School Rock and Roll’ and ‘Real Punk Rock.’
Friday, September 12, 2003
Looking Back Down Thunder Road
I was recently re-reading an old Musician magazine, as I am wont to do from time to time. Specifically, I got to reading an article on Bruce Springsteen and how he and Jon Landau put together the Live 1975-1985 set [aka THE Original Box Set] and how they struggled to get the songs in an order to tell a story of sorts, starting with that sparse take of ‘Thunder Road.’ [The truth, just for knowledge, is that Bruce was having a hard time getting the band arrangement down (he even felt like it wasn’t right on the record) so he was opening with just Roy Bittan on piano and Danny Federichi on glockenspiel.]
Now I have always felt a deep connection to ‘Thunder Road,’ more so than the dynamic but over hyped and overplayed ‘Born to Run.’ I think Bruce’s best line EVER is “Your graduation gown lies in rags at their feet.” It seems to me to be about two real people [‘you ain’t no beauty but hey you’re all right”] and their beginning of a search for something after high school. It fits the mold of the first scene of a movie, maybe even perhaps even echoing James Dean’s Rebel Without A Cause [“It’s a town full of losers, I’m pulling out of here to win” instead of “What are you rebelling against?”, “What have ya got?”]. And it’s so distinctly American Dream. “Gonna leave the nest and find my place in the world.”
It’s so opposite from my own life, maybe that’s why I connected so deeply with it. I came from [well, I GRADUATED in] a town full of losers, but I never left home. I just stumbled through a couple crappy jobs and struggled to pretend I was going to school still and ‘make something of myself.’ I didn’t discover myself until I was at the record store [my dream job] and hooked up with people older than me who gave me some guide posts. They also taught me to get drunk on weeknights and stumble in sweaty and reeking to do books at 800 the next morning after starting the day with a 16oz Coke and a bag of M&Ms to get a good sugar rush to get me through the day.
But even when I had found my path [I do not believe I have found my ‘calling’ though you kind people tell me I should be writing somewhere… but I HATE deadlines and I don’t have anything really interesting to say myself] I didn’t have that complete sense of freedom found in ‘Thunder Road.’ I don’t know if it’s just because I felt I never did anything, never went anyplace, didn’t take any chances… even looking back now, I know I was jealous of my friends who went off to college in exotic locales like Houston, Nashville and even Abilene.
They were off on their paths and pursuing what they wanted [or thought they wanted at the time]. I never have known what I want out of life. I mean beyond shelter and food and friends. I guess I realized early that I probably wasn’t going to be much beyond a working class Joe. And I probably wouldn’t do as well as my parents. My folks lucked into an area where good paying manufacturing jobs were being filled at that time. My dad went from managing McDonalds and Taco Bell and Red Lobster to making fighter jets. I didn’t want to build jets. I wanted to be Hunter Thompson or Ben Fong Torres and interview Mick Jagger. But I couldn’t or wouldn’t get myself though school. Where does one start? I had this conversation with a friend a few weeks ago about dream jobs. I really couldn’t think of my dream job. I said ‘beat writer for a hockey team.’ I would love to do that. Local music columnist, take Macolm Mayhew or Zac Crain’s jobs from them; record producer, sound man at Gypsy Tea Room… I could name a few now that I’ve had time to think it over.
Oh, I got sidetracked. Well, actually, maybe that’s what happened to me. I had an idea, but I got off the highway and never got back on. Had the dream job working in the record store at 19, fired at 21 and never got back on track. Even got back in school for a while after that, but got wiped out by Algebra again. I never even tried for the college paper or journalism classes. The irony was that I was in a depressed haze for a couple years after high school, writing an awful American Graffiti type screenplay and angry, lonesome free verse… always writing, but not what I should have been, eh? But I always was a late bloomer; I didn’t take journalism in high school until my junior year, so I spent all of half a year on the school paper [deadlines] and the yearbook; I think if Tatum had known what a pain I would be she would have said ‘No’ to journalism. On the other hand, we had some great rock and roll discussions. However, she doesn’t know how lucky she is that I never read Hunter Thompson or Lester Bangs until after high school.
Ah, back where I started: ‘Thunder Road.’ What does the world think of someone who has no dream to follow? Or doesn’t feel the ‘overwhelming call’ to chase a dream or to hit the road and find themselves or whatever? Does that make me an oddball? [Suppress comments, please, peanut gallery.] Burleson was no paradise in 1985. Surprises me every time I come back what’s been built, houses and restaurants and all. From a disconnected ‘bedroom town’ to the ‘south end of the Fort Worth/I-35W corridor’ I guess. Like Irving, Grand Prairie, Grapevine and Southlake, just added into the urban sprawl. But back then, it was just a little hick town and we weren’t even in the city. We were out on the rural route with the cows and the rednecks. I hated growing up out there before I got a car. There was just nothing to do. I was the oldest kid on my little street and the only other guy on the street was about 5 years younger than me. I guess that’s where I learned to entertain myself. But apparently as much as I hated being in the sticks and as much time as I spent in Arlington, I never moved on. I didn’t know what I wanted to do, so I didn’t do anything.
Springsteen’s characters at least got together and did something. They got out, got married, found out a lot of what the American Dream is based on was smoke and mirrors and things aren’t all wine and roses. But they got out and lived it, bitter day after bitter day [see Darkness on the Edge of Town, The River and Nebraska]. Of course Springsteen’s characters are distinctly colored with New Jersey [or at least Northeastern US] flavor. I was sitting here in the new ‘land of opportunity,’ where things were happening. I wasn’t suffering as steel mills and textile factories were closing, wondering where my next mortgage payment was coming from. Did I know at 20 that the American Dream had been shot, butchered and served up as steak to the Baby Boom Generation and all I was gonna get was hamburger?
It’s funny how things change on you. I thought I was going to write about how realizing that Mom and Dad didn’t know it all was a traumatic or defining moment, but I guess it wasn’t either of those things. It still makes a good sentence, but unfortunately it’s not really true. That wasn’t it. Realizing I had no deep driving ambition, maybe. Realizing that I was in charge of my own life and all my regrets were my own fault, definitely.
I said before that my parents weren’t really vocally supportive or doting or anything. It’s partially true. I have come to realize over the last few weeks how much help I may have had if I hadn’t had my big ol’ ego in the way. What else has not asking for help or not wanting to be a bother kept me from? What else has bad self image kept me from doing?
Anyway, that’s the book of my regrets for the day. I don’t feel like I got out and experienced the gypsy lifestyle I know is buried somewhere inside me, aside from runs up I 35 to Wichita. It’s really funny that I like driving because you can just pop in a tape and let the miles glide by and let your mind just unwind, hypnotized by the freeway hum. Of course you’re gonna run like a maniac when you get where you’re going and you’re going to be beat when you finally pull in your own driveway again, but Springsteen’s characters never mention that. They’re just getting out. Maybe they only make it to the next town or Philly or Pittsburgh or Dallas or Denver or maybe they make it all the way to California and find out that “no matter where you go, there you are.” [I am reminded of Gallagher talking about the old days, where “when you’re wagon broke down, you stayed. Do you think anyone sets out for Tulsa?” I am also reminded that there are a lot of ‘transitional towns’ where people end up for a couple years and move on, Wichita and Charleston W.Va. in my own experience. I mean I know a lot of people who have been through Wichita.]
Every kid growing up in a small town, be it Mellencamp’s Bloomfield, Indiana or Springsteen’s Asbury Park, New Jersey or Buddy Holly’s Lubbock, Texas wants to go somewhere where the action is. They want to blow their small burg and make it big. And they end up like my folks, making jets and building cars and two kids and a mortgage, worried about the economy and struggling through their own realizations that they didn’t ‘make it’ like they set out to [disappointments]. Most end up middle class, though some end up running away or hiding in the bottle or just desperate for something. Then their kids grow up ungrateful and blast “Bastards of Young” at them [“The ones who love us best are the ones we’ll lay to rest/ and visit their graves on holidays at best/ the ones who love us least are the ones we’ll die to please…”]. Then they grow up, leave their burgs, get married, end up with even more ungrateful kids who blast Emenem back at them…
So here I am, an anomaly of the American Dream, looking back down Thunder Road. What happened to the idea of writing the great American novel, screenplay and finding the lost chord? How did I end up here, hopelessly lower middle class, still living paycheck to paycheck [and sometimes floating a week on the Visa], comfortable but not “happy.” My lucky break is that I can still pretty much starve myself to do something and only have to worry about me and the rent. Sounds silly, like a mid-life crisis, to just pack it all up, sell the CDs and start over at 36. But I could, if I wanted to.
I was recently re-reading an old Musician magazine, as I am wont to do from time to time. Specifically, I got to reading an article on Bruce Springsteen and how he and Jon Landau put together the Live 1975-1985 set [aka THE Original Box Set] and how they struggled to get the songs in an order to tell a story of sorts, starting with that sparse take of ‘Thunder Road.’ [The truth, just for knowledge, is that Bruce was having a hard time getting the band arrangement down (he even felt like it wasn’t right on the record) so he was opening with just Roy Bittan on piano and Danny Federichi on glockenspiel.]
Now I have always felt a deep connection to ‘Thunder Road,’ more so than the dynamic but over hyped and overplayed ‘Born to Run.’ I think Bruce’s best line EVER is “Your graduation gown lies in rags at their feet.” It seems to me to be about two real people [‘you ain’t no beauty but hey you’re all right”] and their beginning of a search for something after high school. It fits the mold of the first scene of a movie, maybe even perhaps even echoing James Dean’s Rebel Without A Cause [“It’s a town full of losers, I’m pulling out of here to win” instead of “What are you rebelling against?”, “What have ya got?”]. And it’s so distinctly American Dream. “Gonna leave the nest and find my place in the world.”
It’s so opposite from my own life, maybe that’s why I connected so deeply with it. I came from [well, I GRADUATED in] a town full of losers, but I never left home. I just stumbled through a couple crappy jobs and struggled to pretend I was going to school still and ‘make something of myself.’ I didn’t discover myself until I was at the record store [my dream job] and hooked up with people older than me who gave me some guide posts. They also taught me to get drunk on weeknights and stumble in sweaty and reeking to do books at 800 the next morning after starting the day with a 16oz Coke and a bag of M&Ms to get a good sugar rush to get me through the day.
But even when I had found my path [I do not believe I have found my ‘calling’ though you kind people tell me I should be writing somewhere… but I HATE deadlines and I don’t have anything really interesting to say myself] I didn’t have that complete sense of freedom found in ‘Thunder Road.’ I don’t know if it’s just because I felt I never did anything, never went anyplace, didn’t take any chances… even looking back now, I know I was jealous of my friends who went off to college in exotic locales like Houston, Nashville and even Abilene.
They were off on their paths and pursuing what they wanted [or thought they wanted at the time]. I never have known what I want out of life. I mean beyond shelter and food and friends. I guess I realized early that I probably wasn’t going to be much beyond a working class Joe. And I probably wouldn’t do as well as my parents. My folks lucked into an area where good paying manufacturing jobs were being filled at that time. My dad went from managing McDonalds and Taco Bell and Red Lobster to making fighter jets. I didn’t want to build jets. I wanted to be Hunter Thompson or Ben Fong Torres and interview Mick Jagger. But I couldn’t or wouldn’t get myself though school. Where does one start? I had this conversation with a friend a few weeks ago about dream jobs. I really couldn’t think of my dream job. I said ‘beat writer for a hockey team.’ I would love to do that. Local music columnist, take Macolm Mayhew or Zac Crain’s jobs from them; record producer, sound man at Gypsy Tea Room… I could name a few now that I’ve had time to think it over.
Oh, I got sidetracked. Well, actually, maybe that’s what happened to me. I had an idea, but I got off the highway and never got back on. Had the dream job working in the record store at 19, fired at 21 and never got back on track. Even got back in school for a while after that, but got wiped out by Algebra again. I never even tried for the college paper or journalism classes. The irony was that I was in a depressed haze for a couple years after high school, writing an awful American Graffiti type screenplay and angry, lonesome free verse… always writing, but not what I should have been, eh? But I always was a late bloomer; I didn’t take journalism in high school until my junior year, so I spent all of half a year on the school paper [deadlines] and the yearbook; I think if Tatum had known what a pain I would be she would have said ‘No’ to journalism. On the other hand, we had some great rock and roll discussions. However, she doesn’t know how lucky she is that I never read Hunter Thompson or Lester Bangs until after high school.
Ah, back where I started: ‘Thunder Road.’ What does the world think of someone who has no dream to follow? Or doesn’t feel the ‘overwhelming call’ to chase a dream or to hit the road and find themselves or whatever? Does that make me an oddball? [Suppress comments, please, peanut gallery.] Burleson was no paradise in 1985. Surprises me every time I come back what’s been built, houses and restaurants and all. From a disconnected ‘bedroom town’ to the ‘south end of the Fort Worth/I-35W corridor’ I guess. Like Irving, Grand Prairie, Grapevine and Southlake, just added into the urban sprawl. But back then, it was just a little hick town and we weren’t even in the city. We were out on the rural route with the cows and the rednecks. I hated growing up out there before I got a car. There was just nothing to do. I was the oldest kid on my little street and the only other guy on the street was about 5 years younger than me. I guess that’s where I learned to entertain myself. But apparently as much as I hated being in the sticks and as much time as I spent in Arlington, I never moved on. I didn’t know what I wanted to do, so I didn’t do anything.
Springsteen’s characters at least got together and did something. They got out, got married, found out a lot of what the American Dream is based on was smoke and mirrors and things aren’t all wine and roses. But they got out and lived it, bitter day after bitter day [see Darkness on the Edge of Town, The River and Nebraska]. Of course Springsteen’s characters are distinctly colored with New Jersey [or at least Northeastern US] flavor. I was sitting here in the new ‘land of opportunity,’ where things were happening. I wasn’t suffering as steel mills and textile factories were closing, wondering where my next mortgage payment was coming from. Did I know at 20 that the American Dream had been shot, butchered and served up as steak to the Baby Boom Generation and all I was gonna get was hamburger?
It’s funny how things change on you. I thought I was going to write about how realizing that Mom and Dad didn’t know it all was a traumatic or defining moment, but I guess it wasn’t either of those things. It still makes a good sentence, but unfortunately it’s not really true. That wasn’t it. Realizing I had no deep driving ambition, maybe. Realizing that I was in charge of my own life and all my regrets were my own fault, definitely.
I said before that my parents weren’t really vocally supportive or doting or anything. It’s partially true. I have come to realize over the last few weeks how much help I may have had if I hadn’t had my big ol’ ego in the way. What else has not asking for help or not wanting to be a bother kept me from? What else has bad self image kept me from doing?
Anyway, that’s the book of my regrets for the day. I don’t feel like I got out and experienced the gypsy lifestyle I know is buried somewhere inside me, aside from runs up I 35 to Wichita. It’s really funny that I like driving because you can just pop in a tape and let the miles glide by and let your mind just unwind, hypnotized by the freeway hum. Of course you’re gonna run like a maniac when you get where you’re going and you’re going to be beat when you finally pull in your own driveway again, but Springsteen’s characters never mention that. They’re just getting out. Maybe they only make it to the next town or Philly or Pittsburgh or Dallas or Denver or maybe they make it all the way to California and find out that “no matter where you go, there you are.” [I am reminded of Gallagher talking about the old days, where “when you’re wagon broke down, you stayed. Do you think anyone sets out for Tulsa?” I am also reminded that there are a lot of ‘transitional towns’ where people end up for a couple years and move on, Wichita and Charleston W.Va. in my own experience. I mean I know a lot of people who have been through Wichita.]
Every kid growing up in a small town, be it Mellencamp’s Bloomfield, Indiana or Springsteen’s Asbury Park, New Jersey or Buddy Holly’s Lubbock, Texas wants to go somewhere where the action is. They want to blow their small burg and make it big. And they end up like my folks, making jets and building cars and two kids and a mortgage, worried about the economy and struggling through their own realizations that they didn’t ‘make it’ like they set out to [disappointments]. Most end up middle class, though some end up running away or hiding in the bottle or just desperate for something. Then their kids grow up ungrateful and blast “Bastards of Young” at them [“The ones who love us best are the ones we’ll lay to rest/ and visit their graves on holidays at best/ the ones who love us least are the ones we’ll die to please…”]. Then they grow up, leave their burgs, get married, end up with even more ungrateful kids who blast Emenem back at them…
So here I am, an anomaly of the American Dream, looking back down Thunder Road. What happened to the idea of writing the great American novel, screenplay and finding the lost chord? How did I end up here, hopelessly lower middle class, still living paycheck to paycheck [and sometimes floating a week on the Visa], comfortable but not “happy.” My lucky break is that I can still pretty much starve myself to do something and only have to worry about me and the rent. Sounds silly, like a mid-life crisis, to just pack it all up, sell the CDs and start over at 36. But I could, if I wanted to.
Thursday, August 28, 2003
wedding day contemplation
It’s been a long, LONG August… so many highs, so many lows. Started with the low, the double funeral, and three weeks later I sit waiting around in a fucking monkey suit [Penguin suit] waiting to be called for pictures at a wedding, fighting a head cold and nerves. What am I nervous about? Just a bridesmaid again…
So many highs and lows this month, up and down, stress and apathy. Continual flow of friends all month, checking and rechecking our mental status. Shaking off the shock and realization that two lights have gone out of our lives. They should be here today sharing the joy and the love. I think of birthday parties and wedding and holidays they will not be here to laugh with us, let alone making ordinary dinners and weekend visits “extra ordinary.”
And now the other extreme. I am… encouraged by the fact that people can find their ‘soul mate’ after the age of 30. I believe I have found my ‘soul mate’ and my best friend, though that seems to remain deeply deeply platonic. So I still hope to find someone to be my ‘other best friend’ in life. Have I learned watching other people go through this mystery of ‘Love?’ Probably not. I finally got over the shit Hollywood fed me that you always [well, almost always] get the girl in the end. Hollywood loves a happy ending. Reality bites. Divorces, separations, second and third marriages, step kids, not being able to have kids, hang ups, money fights, “He’s an ass/She’s a bitch,” He said/ She Said… scary world. Daunting to someone so inexperienced. It’s be nice to have someone to fuck, but I want to be in love. Another of life’s mysteries. Some say “put your future/fate in God’s hands…” And I guess I have gone and given up to whatever fate [or The Divine Plan] has in store for me. Funny, it took a tragedy to shake me out of my rut and my shell.
What am I looking for anyway? I found peace with myself. I let go of a lot of ‘what if’ and ‘What should I have done’ and ‘Boy did I fuck that up.’ I wiped my slate clean and said ‘One day at a time.’ I didn’t forget the things, but I told myself ‘Penance paid, let the anchors and chains go and move forward.’
I still wonder if I know how to love like ‘normal’ people. I am not sure what I took from my immediate familial relationship. Parents on opposite schedules [day and night shifts] through my teenage years…I don’t think I got a lot of direction and/or ‘great life altering advice’ or anything from them. I guess they were like a lot of people trying to keep the mortgage up and all. But I never got the impression that they were impressed or proud of anything I did. Not apathetic, but not really encouraging or free with praise either. And maybe that’s contributed to me developing my own set of rules and codes, catching as catch can and making my own deals with God and developing my own philosophy. Anyone want to chime in on how that contributes to other ‘relationship issues’ or ‘self esteem issues?’
Anyway, here I sit in Tom Wolfe’s “black shiny FBI shoes,” waiting for a wedding to start and seeing old friends coming around to share again, at least this time for joy and celebration. It’s funny to see how this chain has grown from myself and Kristie and Bobbi and Vicki to Nate and Henry and Jim and Kelly. To see how Kelly and Vicki became such friends while life took others away on different paths. And still many spokes of the wheel will be represented here, many paths joining together in this clearing to toast to love, drink, laugh, break bread and share a few hours again.
It’s been a long, LONG August… so many highs, so many lows. Started with the low, the double funeral, and three weeks later I sit waiting around in a fucking monkey suit [Penguin suit] waiting to be called for pictures at a wedding, fighting a head cold and nerves. What am I nervous about? Just a bridesmaid again…
So many highs and lows this month, up and down, stress and apathy. Continual flow of friends all month, checking and rechecking our mental status. Shaking off the shock and realization that two lights have gone out of our lives. They should be here today sharing the joy and the love. I think of birthday parties and wedding and holidays they will not be here to laugh with us, let alone making ordinary dinners and weekend visits “extra ordinary.”
And now the other extreme. I am… encouraged by the fact that people can find their ‘soul mate’ after the age of 30. I believe I have found my ‘soul mate’ and my best friend, though that seems to remain deeply deeply platonic. So I still hope to find someone to be my ‘other best friend’ in life. Have I learned watching other people go through this mystery of ‘Love?’ Probably not. I finally got over the shit Hollywood fed me that you always [well, almost always] get the girl in the end. Hollywood loves a happy ending. Reality bites. Divorces, separations, second and third marriages, step kids, not being able to have kids, hang ups, money fights, “He’s an ass/She’s a bitch,” He said/ She Said… scary world. Daunting to someone so inexperienced. It’s be nice to have someone to fuck, but I want to be in love. Another of life’s mysteries. Some say “put your future/fate in God’s hands…” And I guess I have gone and given up to whatever fate [or The Divine Plan] has in store for me. Funny, it took a tragedy to shake me out of my rut and my shell.
What am I looking for anyway? I found peace with myself. I let go of a lot of ‘what if’ and ‘What should I have done’ and ‘Boy did I fuck that up.’ I wiped my slate clean and said ‘One day at a time.’ I didn’t forget the things, but I told myself ‘Penance paid, let the anchors and chains go and move forward.’
I still wonder if I know how to love like ‘normal’ people. I am not sure what I took from my immediate familial relationship. Parents on opposite schedules [day and night shifts] through my teenage years…I don’t think I got a lot of direction and/or ‘great life altering advice’ or anything from them. I guess they were like a lot of people trying to keep the mortgage up and all. But I never got the impression that they were impressed or proud of anything I did. Not apathetic, but not really encouraging or free with praise either. And maybe that’s contributed to me developing my own set of rules and codes, catching as catch can and making my own deals with God and developing my own philosophy. Anyone want to chime in on how that contributes to other ‘relationship issues’ or ‘self esteem issues?’
Anyway, here I sit in Tom Wolfe’s “black shiny FBI shoes,” waiting for a wedding to start and seeing old friends coming around to share again, at least this time for joy and celebration. It’s funny to see how this chain has grown from myself and Kristie and Bobbi and Vicki to Nate and Henry and Jim and Kelly. To see how Kelly and Vicki became such friends while life took others away on different paths. And still many spokes of the wheel will be represented here, many paths joining together in this clearing to toast to love, drink, laugh, break bread and share a few hours again.
Monday, August 25, 2003
WE GOT LINKS
If you HAVEN'T been keeping up with your email from me [and shame on you] or if you're not on my list. here's more fuel to fires that keep going around my beloved Rock and Roll Discussion Group aka The Rockers.
Picked this off of The Rock and Roll Report http://www.rockandrollreport.blogspot.com/ [another man just plugging away on his blog] about 'Who Killed Rock and Roll?' by Gene Scualtti of WFMU [WFMU is an independent freeform radio station broadcasting at 91.1 fm in the New York City area, at 90.1 fm in the Hudson Valley, which sound interesting to me.. any station that polls its listeners about the Worst Song of the Post War Era [ I REFUSE to spoil you, look for yourself: http://www.wfmu.org/WSC/wsc.html ] has to have something right. It really appears to be true free form... check out the DJs and their playlists MARTY.]
http://www.wfmu.org/LCD/24/mythsmash.html
And this debate on the fate of the "album" [i.e. the standard 10-12 song format we are familiar with, not the actual vinyl Lp...] AND you can VOTE! [Ah, gotta love Democracy in action!] by Gideon Yago at MTV.com
http://www.mtv.com/bands/a/albums_news_feature_081903/
This actually turns out to be a decent arguement: "The album is a bloated, outdated, overused, unnecessary idea in post-Ritalin, Mixtape America where DJs are heroes and the only surefire hit is a Now That's What I Call Music! compilation.
"A complete album that flows effortlessly from track to track (think the Beach Boys' Pet Sounds, the Stooges' Fun House or The Eminem Show) is tough to demand of mainstream hit machines that are often not even responsible for writing the music they perform. This is not to say that I don't like albums (I love them!) or that there aren't any good bands, groups or MCs out there making great LPs ... but big hits are expensive to produce and promote. In order to recoup that money, record labels tack on a dozen filler tracks that nobody wants to hear and sells it as an album. [my emphasis]
"But what if the record labels gave less and charged less? Cut the track count and the price in half? Retail music might not go the way of the dodo bird. Switch to a four- to five-track EP ("extended play," a term dating back to the days of vinyl.) Today the album is the standard unit of operation in the music business. Contracts and success are all based on albums. But what if that changed? What if contracts were written by song or EP and budgets were slashed accordingly?"
..."I believe that if the record industry tightened its product, offered greater diversity and focused their album efforts on music compilations, they might be able to make it out of the business world alive.
"What made albums (post-the Beatles' Rubber Soul) so great was that they were intended to be heard from start to finish and you were almost always guaranteed a couple of good songs. But the album as an art form is a relic in the age of file sharing. Thanks to the innovation of the fast-forward button, today's listeners go cruising from track to track in search of a sucker cut. Right now, consumers are hesitant about plunking down $16.99 plus tax for an entire record that might turn out to be utterly disposable. I believe that's why so many are turning to downloading — to hedge their bets.
"The labels need to sell a product the people will pay for, and that means they've got to take what is great about the album and abbreviate it. Put it out more frequently and in smaller batches. It keeps costs down, keeps bands developing and keeps fans interested.Instead of sacking whole bands, just sack unnecessarily big productions. Keep a diverse roster, encourage quality and sell the archive. Kill the album."
Been hanging out in Burleson at a wedding, seeing lost friends and accomplishing things all weekend. More to follow [including MY take on the two articles in question] soon. As always, additions, counter arguements and topics to debate: DROP A LINE!
chaz66@earthlink.net Don't panic if you get a 'not on friends list' message: I am having SPAM issues and have the heavy duty spam filter on.
NEXT TOPIC [or' the sentence currently burning a hole in my head]: Been reading an old Springsteen article, specifically about putting together the Live 75-85 album, and the feeling and the story he was trying to put across in the sequencing, when it hit me. The scariest moment [or 'The Defining Moment'] is when one realizes that Mom and Dad don't know it all. That it's all just a crap shoot.
If you HAVEN'T been keeping up with your email from me [and shame on you] or if you're not on my list. here's more fuel to fires that keep going around my beloved Rock and Roll Discussion Group aka The Rockers.
Picked this off of The Rock and Roll Report http://www.rockandrollreport.blogspot.com/ [another man just plugging away on his blog] about 'Who Killed Rock and Roll?' by Gene Scualtti of WFMU [WFMU is an independent freeform radio station broadcasting at 91.1 fm in the New York City area, at 90.1 fm in the Hudson Valley, which sound interesting to me.. any station that polls its listeners about the Worst Song of the Post War Era [ I REFUSE to spoil you, look for yourself: http://www.wfmu.org/WSC/wsc.html ] has to have something right. It really appears to be true free form... check out the DJs and their playlists MARTY.]
http://www.wfmu.org/LCD/24/mythsmash.html
And this debate on the fate of the "album" [i.e. the standard 10-12 song format we are familiar with, not the actual vinyl Lp...] AND you can VOTE! [Ah, gotta love Democracy in action!] by Gideon Yago at MTV.com
http://www.mtv.com/bands/a/albums_news_feature_081903/
This actually turns out to be a decent arguement: "The album is a bloated, outdated, overused, unnecessary idea in post-Ritalin, Mixtape America where DJs are heroes and the only surefire hit is a Now That's What I Call Music! compilation.
"A complete album that flows effortlessly from track to track (think the Beach Boys' Pet Sounds, the Stooges' Fun House or The Eminem Show) is tough to demand of mainstream hit machines that are often not even responsible for writing the music they perform. This is not to say that I don't like albums (I love them!) or that there aren't any good bands, groups or MCs out there making great LPs ... but big hits are expensive to produce and promote. In order to recoup that money, record labels tack on a dozen filler tracks that nobody wants to hear and sells it as an album. [my emphasis]
"But what if the record labels gave less and charged less? Cut the track count and the price in half? Retail music might not go the way of the dodo bird. Switch to a four- to five-track EP ("extended play," a term dating back to the days of vinyl.) Today the album is the standard unit of operation in the music business. Contracts and success are all based on albums. But what if that changed? What if contracts were written by song or EP and budgets were slashed accordingly?"
..."I believe that if the record industry tightened its product, offered greater diversity and focused their album efforts on music compilations, they might be able to make it out of the business world alive.
"What made albums (post-the Beatles' Rubber Soul) so great was that they were intended to be heard from start to finish and you were almost always guaranteed a couple of good songs. But the album as an art form is a relic in the age of file sharing. Thanks to the innovation of the fast-forward button, today's listeners go cruising from track to track in search of a sucker cut. Right now, consumers are hesitant about plunking down $16.99 plus tax for an entire record that might turn out to be utterly disposable. I believe that's why so many are turning to downloading — to hedge their bets.
"The labels need to sell a product the people will pay for, and that means they've got to take what is great about the album and abbreviate it. Put it out more frequently and in smaller batches. It keeps costs down, keeps bands developing and keeps fans interested.Instead of sacking whole bands, just sack unnecessarily big productions. Keep a diverse roster, encourage quality and sell the archive. Kill the album."
Been hanging out in Burleson at a wedding, seeing lost friends and accomplishing things all weekend. More to follow [including MY take on the two articles in question] soon. As always, additions, counter arguements and topics to debate: DROP A LINE!
chaz66@earthlink.net Don't panic if you get a 'not on friends list' message: I am having SPAM issues and have the heavy duty spam filter on.
NEXT TOPIC [or' the sentence currently burning a hole in my head]: Been reading an old Springsteen article, specifically about putting together the Live 75-85 album, and the feeling and the story he was trying to put across in the sequencing, when it hit me. The scariest moment [or 'The Defining Moment'] is when one realizes that Mom and Dad don't know it all. That it's all just a crap shoot.
Saturday, August 16, 2003
Random Nates:
I have noticed the photos of a lot of dead people at my desk: John Lennon, Joe Strummer, the Marx Brothers [all tempered of course by the invulnerable Keith Richards]… I know these people are cultural icons who’ve had an influence on me, but I was just struck by the thought. I was reminded of the infamous Pete Townshend interview/rave on one of the “History of Rock and Roll” shows: “They’re your icons, they’re my friends and they’re dead. My fucking friends are dead.”
Saw Behind the Music: Aerosmith again the other night [part of it anyway]. The trouble with Aerosmith now is that Steven Tyler still thinks he’s relevant, that his band is as revered as the Rolling Stones and Zeppelin. I suppose they are in some quarters, but I am afraid he is equating commercial success with relevance. hould Aerosmith just give up making new albums and hit the sheds every summer and live on their past glories ala Steve Miller? What the hell was Just Push Play? What was on Nine Lives worth hearing? ON THE OTHER HAND: There are examples like Santana where they put out consistently good [not great, but more positive than negative] albums for years before the public finally comes around again. But Aerosmith needs to go away again so people can remember what really made that band great: a good groove and attitude. Of course the Stones don’t even have the attitude they used to, but I’m afraid Joe Perry lets Steven Tyler just out motor mouth him. He needs to be more assertive like Keith is when he needs to be. Think of the Stones albums Jagger really had control: It’s Only Rock and Roll, Black and Blue, Emotional Rescue… scary parallel, isn’t it? It wouldn’t be so bad if Aerosmith hadn’t just jumped into this new found “Icon” status so easily, but they basically abandoned their back catalog except for a handful of ‘hit singles.’ Anything before their ‘comeback,’ Permanent Vacation, is banned. Isn’t that like Robert Plant going out and refusing to play the Zeppelin catalog, like he did for so long?
Gotta love MUZAK, man. Scheduling a vendor meet and I hear Lindsey Buckingham’s 1984 [?] single “Trouble” with a clarinet playing the lead vocal lines. No bass on it to provide the punch of the original, but the guitar player makes a great run at Lindsey’s lines, even if there’s not enough echo on the solo. Did I rant and rave about Lindsey’s playing at the Fleetwood Mac show? He played great, though he used those funny little custom guitars he has. I hoped he’s dig a Les Paul out for “I’m So Afraid,” but you can’t have everything. Great under-rated guitar player. Needs to get rid of the blonde, though, she just weighs the whole thing down, right Deb? *snicker snicker*
Ben on a big Band tear since seeing The Last Waltz again. Finally bough the brown [The Band] album and I am just knocked out by the SOUND of it. There’s real bottom to it, real drums, bass, tubas[!], pianos and organs and all kinds of stuff that doesn’t belong on rock records. You can hear silence between the beats sometimes! No one makes records like that anymore. Everything today is synthetic DOOM DOOM drums with that Flea/ Bootsy Collins slap-pop bass with 14 triple overdrive guitars over that and a singer who sits like a foghorn in the middle of it all. BLECH! Oh, there are singer songwriter guys like Pete Yorn and the like who use acoustic guitars, and there are real 'lo-fi' rock and roll bands still, but there is no one else who sounds like the Band. How many bands can you name with four great singers [Danko, Helm, Manuel and Robertson]? Where all the guys contribute to the songs? How many bands understand that economy and silence in between notes alows a song to breathe? The only other band that comes to mond that NO ONEelse sounds like is the Who. And I am begining to think Wilco. Saw the out takes disc of I Am Trying to Break Your Heart the other night. Wow.
Nat and Sandy also advise to keep an eye open for a Canadian: Sam Roberts. Heard a good portion of his disc, very good in a Westerberg type vein. Did I rave about Dallas band called Nope? Sounds like Cheap Trick meets the Replacements, you know, stuff that radio won't get withing a hundred yards of. I heard that at Nate's, too. It's not released yet, but I told him to tell them that there ARE people who still enjoy that type of music.
Good to see Ed Voyles at Nate's too [yes it was a good night!]. Ed says he wants to touch up the Jasper Stone and add a couple songs. Also says keep calenders clear in mid Sept for a tribute gig out at good ol' 'five star' Fred's in Ft Worth. More to come.
In Dallas, they've closed an institution again, and for the last time. The Bronco Bowl is going away to make way for another fucking Home Depot. Now I understand economics and all and they weren't getting many shows anymore. Still, they hosted such greats as the Black Crowes, Bruce Springsteen [Tom Joad tour], Neil Young [Blue Notes/This Note's For You tour]... I know I have seen my share of shows there. Off the top of my head, and hands down the best was Lou Reed on the Set the Twilight Reeling tour form abouit the 15th row. That was Lou's only appearance in Dallas SINCE the Velvet Underground and his oly show there since. [See, Dallas is kind of an 'armpit of the universe' for music tours, I think. People either play the Smirnoff Shed, formerly known as Starplex or they play clubs. How many bands come though anymore needing at 1500 seat arena?] We saw the Red Hot Chilli Peppers there twice in the old Sound Warehouse days [once with Mary's Danish opening and once we skipped the openers, some lame band touring on their first album called Alice In Chains, which continued a grand tradition of skipping bands that would take off that we missed; once me and Nate skipped [pre-Nothing's Shocking] Jane's Addiction opening for Iggy Pop at the Arcadia. So I try not to miss opening bands anymore, but the worst I ever saw was opening for the Black Crowes at my last BB show: Beechwood Sparks, a Byrds sounding band that was cool for two songs, but that was it...] on the Mother's Milk tour. Saw Tin Machine there [fuck you I LIKED TIN MACHINE.] Saw the Big Audio Dynamite II/PiL tour there [highlighted by BAD playing Prince's 1999 in the encore]. We saw the Ramones and Social Distortion [who I still can't stand] there right after they reopened the second time. The last time I was there was two years ago for the Black Crowes Lions tour. I had problems with the show like the lead guitarist being way too loud and the Crowes burying Ediie Harsch's keyboards in the mix, but the BB was still a good venue. The loss of the Bronco Bowl may put some more shows at Deep Ellum Live [formerly the Venue, formerly Tommy's], but that place will never take the place of the BB. First of all the BB has/had chairs and that bowl; there really weren't many bad seats in the place. DEL is standing all the time. Like my friend Amanda says, "I am too old to stand up for three hours at a show anymore." Of course you can't DANCE at DEL, either.
Yeah, that was the truth [I don't know about now]. Nate's band the American Fuse opened for Rocket from the Crypt there, oh about three years ago, and the cops were hassling the place for [I am not making this up] not having some sort of dance hall license/permit. So they were going to BUST PEOPLE for DANCING [pogo-ing, frug-ing, dirty bopping, you name it]. Well they announced that from the stage before RftC was to take sthe stage and people boo-ed, and RftC came on with their hyper horny sound and they pulled a couple people out and the band left the stage. So there's a bunch of cenfernces going on and we're having another drink and Nate come out from back stage and says "It doesn't look good, they're not gonna come back on, let's cruise." Well, we head for the exit and as soon as we're out the door, RftC comes back on and starts tearing it up. The irony is Dunigan is TWO STEPS out the door and turns around and gets stopped from going back in: No in and outs. You gotta be kidding me. Nope. Don't get me wrong, I have seen a couple good shows and fallen in love [and gotten other people in a lot of trouble] at DEL [Rave Ups. Fishbone, Iggy Pop... oh, and Violent Femmes with a friend with an extra ticket] but that RftC show may have been my last trip there.
Anyway, raise a plastic cup full of draft Budweiser for the late great Bronco Bowl. The King is dead, long live the King.
I have noticed the photos of a lot of dead people at my desk: John Lennon, Joe Strummer, the Marx Brothers [all tempered of course by the invulnerable Keith Richards]… I know these people are cultural icons who’ve had an influence on me, but I was just struck by the thought. I was reminded of the infamous Pete Townshend interview/rave on one of the “History of Rock and Roll” shows: “They’re your icons, they’re my friends and they’re dead. My fucking friends are dead.”
Saw Behind the Music: Aerosmith again the other night [part of it anyway]. The trouble with Aerosmith now is that Steven Tyler still thinks he’s relevant, that his band is as revered as the Rolling Stones and Zeppelin. I suppose they are in some quarters, but I am afraid he is equating commercial success with relevance. hould Aerosmith just give up making new albums and hit the sheds every summer and live on their past glories ala Steve Miller? What the hell was Just Push Play? What was on Nine Lives worth hearing? ON THE OTHER HAND: There are examples like Santana where they put out consistently good [not great, but more positive than negative] albums for years before the public finally comes around again. But Aerosmith needs to go away again so people can remember what really made that band great: a good groove and attitude. Of course the Stones don’t even have the attitude they used to, but I’m afraid Joe Perry lets Steven Tyler just out motor mouth him. He needs to be more assertive like Keith is when he needs to be. Think of the Stones albums Jagger really had control: It’s Only Rock and Roll, Black and Blue, Emotional Rescue… scary parallel, isn’t it? It wouldn’t be so bad if Aerosmith hadn’t just jumped into this new found “Icon” status so easily, but they basically abandoned their back catalog except for a handful of ‘hit singles.’ Anything before their ‘comeback,’ Permanent Vacation, is banned. Isn’t that like Robert Plant going out and refusing to play the Zeppelin catalog, like he did for so long?
Gotta love MUZAK, man. Scheduling a vendor meet and I hear Lindsey Buckingham’s 1984 [?] single “Trouble” with a clarinet playing the lead vocal lines. No bass on it to provide the punch of the original, but the guitar player makes a great run at Lindsey’s lines, even if there’s not enough echo on the solo. Did I rant and rave about Lindsey’s playing at the Fleetwood Mac show? He played great, though he used those funny little custom guitars he has. I hoped he’s dig a Les Paul out for “I’m So Afraid,” but you can’t have everything. Great under-rated guitar player. Needs to get rid of the blonde, though, she just weighs the whole thing down, right Deb? *snicker snicker*
Ben on a big Band tear since seeing The Last Waltz again. Finally bough the brown [The Band] album and I am just knocked out by the SOUND of it. There’s real bottom to it, real drums, bass, tubas[!], pianos and organs and all kinds of stuff that doesn’t belong on rock records. You can hear silence between the beats sometimes! No one makes records like that anymore. Everything today is synthetic DOOM DOOM drums with that Flea/ Bootsy Collins slap-pop bass with 14 triple overdrive guitars over that and a singer who sits like a foghorn in the middle of it all. BLECH! Oh, there are singer songwriter guys like Pete Yorn and the like who use acoustic guitars, and there are real 'lo-fi' rock and roll bands still, but there is no one else who sounds like the Band. How many bands can you name with four great singers [Danko, Helm, Manuel and Robertson]? Where all the guys contribute to the songs? How many bands understand that economy and silence in between notes alows a song to breathe? The only other band that comes to mond that NO ONEelse sounds like is the Who. And I am begining to think Wilco. Saw the out takes disc of I Am Trying to Break Your Heart the other night. Wow.
Nat and Sandy also advise to keep an eye open for a Canadian: Sam Roberts. Heard a good portion of his disc, very good in a Westerberg type vein. Did I rave about Dallas band called Nope? Sounds like Cheap Trick meets the Replacements, you know, stuff that radio won't get withing a hundred yards of. I heard that at Nate's, too. It's not released yet, but I told him to tell them that there ARE people who still enjoy that type of music.
Good to see Ed Voyles at Nate's too [yes it was a good night!]. Ed says he wants to touch up the Jasper Stone and add a couple songs. Also says keep calenders clear in mid Sept for a tribute gig out at good ol' 'five star' Fred's in Ft Worth. More to come.
In Dallas, they've closed an institution again, and for the last time. The Bronco Bowl is going away to make way for another fucking Home Depot. Now I understand economics and all and they weren't getting many shows anymore. Still, they hosted such greats as the Black Crowes, Bruce Springsteen [Tom Joad tour], Neil Young [Blue Notes/This Note's For You tour]... I know I have seen my share of shows there. Off the top of my head, and hands down the best was Lou Reed on the Set the Twilight Reeling tour form abouit the 15th row. That was Lou's only appearance in Dallas SINCE the Velvet Underground and his oly show there since. [See, Dallas is kind of an 'armpit of the universe' for music tours, I think. People either play the Smirnoff Shed, formerly known as Starplex or they play clubs. How many bands come though anymore needing at 1500 seat arena?] We saw the Red Hot Chilli Peppers there twice in the old Sound Warehouse days [once with Mary's Danish opening and once we skipped the openers, some lame band touring on their first album called Alice In Chains, which continued a grand tradition of skipping bands that would take off that we missed; once me and Nate skipped [pre-Nothing's Shocking] Jane's Addiction opening for Iggy Pop at the Arcadia. So I try not to miss opening bands anymore, but the worst I ever saw was opening for the Black Crowes at my last BB show: Beechwood Sparks, a Byrds sounding band that was cool for two songs, but that was it...] on the Mother's Milk tour. Saw Tin Machine there [fuck you I LIKED TIN MACHINE.] Saw the Big Audio Dynamite II/PiL tour there [highlighted by BAD playing Prince's 1999 in the encore]. We saw the Ramones and Social Distortion [who I still can't stand] there right after they reopened the second time. The last time I was there was two years ago for the Black Crowes Lions tour. I had problems with the show like the lead guitarist being way too loud and the Crowes burying Ediie Harsch's keyboards in the mix, but the BB was still a good venue. The loss of the Bronco Bowl may put some more shows at Deep Ellum Live [formerly the Venue, formerly Tommy's], but that place will never take the place of the BB. First of all the BB has/had chairs and that bowl; there really weren't many bad seats in the place. DEL is standing all the time. Like my friend Amanda says, "I am too old to stand up for three hours at a show anymore." Of course you can't DANCE at DEL, either.
Yeah, that was the truth [I don't know about now]. Nate's band the American Fuse opened for Rocket from the Crypt there, oh about three years ago, and the cops were hassling the place for [I am not making this up] not having some sort of dance hall license/permit. So they were going to BUST PEOPLE for DANCING [pogo-ing, frug-ing, dirty bopping, you name it]. Well they announced that from the stage before RftC was to take sthe stage and people boo-ed, and RftC came on with their hyper horny sound and they pulled a couple people out and the band left the stage. So there's a bunch of cenfernces going on and we're having another drink and Nate come out from back stage and says "It doesn't look good, they're not gonna come back on, let's cruise." Well, we head for the exit and as soon as we're out the door, RftC comes back on and starts tearing it up. The irony is Dunigan is TWO STEPS out the door and turns around and gets stopped from going back in: No in and outs. You gotta be kidding me. Nope. Don't get me wrong, I have seen a couple good shows and fallen in love [and gotten other people in a lot of trouble] at DEL [Rave Ups. Fishbone, Iggy Pop... oh, and Violent Femmes with a friend with an extra ticket] but that RftC show may have been my last trip there.
Anyway, raise a plastic cup full of draft Budweiser for the late great Bronco Bowl. The King is dead, long live the King.
Sunday, August 10, 2003
Friends and others, it has been a bad period for the last couple of weeks. I have to tell you all about grief and loss, sorrow and laughter and tears. My friends Henry and Heather Meyer were killed in an auto accident and a lot of us have been dealing with grief and shock and loss. It was a hard week, many 'liquid' nights, much contemplation of beliefs and our place in the universe, many stories that brought laughter and then a heartbreaking disappointment that our friends would not be around to share 'their side' of the stories anymore. And the hundreds of pictures where you can see the love for each other in their eyes.
I have never met and probably never will meet two nicer or “full of life” people. I never saw either angry and I never saw them blow anyone off and I never saw them refuse to help anyone of they possibly could. Even when Heather was sick with her mysterious maladies, they were “more subdued” but never really “down.” I am fairly sure they were at peace with themselves and “right with God,” whatever that meant to them. I am glad we were in the habit of telling each other we loved each other. I was lucky enough to know Henry for 15 years and Heather for a little over ten. I knew Henry and Heather better than I know some of my own cousins, and even after a long period of non contact, we would always pick up like good friends, right where we left off. I hope everyone one day finds or has found a love a true and pure as theirs was. And they were blessed with wonderfully off-the-beaten-path families, much like my own extended family [I love you Uncle Rich!]. Their families were always wonderful and I felt part of the family whenever I was around them.
The hardest part for me was the viewing. I saw two waxy lifeless bodies with the souls gone and I was just shocked. I have a photo of the two of them from my birthday gathering this year that I will remeber them by, not the funeral. I understand that funerals are for closure, but I still feel we have not celebrated their lives, the joy and the love that they gave all of us. I will miss long, laugh filled dinners. I will miss Heather’s enthusiasm for life and everything that that implies. I will miss Henry’s perfect “straight man dead pan” [thanks Scott] sense of humor. I keep thinking of the line from Bob Seger’s Beautiful Loser: “He’s always willing to be second best, the perfect lodger and the perfect guest.” I will miss Heather's lack of inhibition, her enthusiasm and her spontaniously breaking into the Elaine dance.
It's just my way to be fairly closed about everything, though some appear to be breaking me down since this tragedy. I tried to be strong for the others who needed the support. Some wonderful person told me that "willingly taking on the burden for others in their time of need was a gift, but I needed to do my grieving also." And I have my days where I am okay and some times when I still cannot belive that an email will come with a joke or a reply to my 'rock and roll discussion group' ever again. Henry knew I was trying to write again and one of the last things he sent was a local web-zine looking for writers.
I don't think I have the piece anymore, but I was going to write an article on Jasper Stone just to get my chops up again and maybe use as an example. It was after a particularly empty gig after a particularly sucessful gig at Love and War. I wrote a few paragraphs as I was getting my thoughts together and I sent them around to Ed and Henry. And Henry called and asked that I NOT publish the piece but he liked what I ad written. We spoke for a long time 'off the record' about the band and things about the band. I am sorry they never met more success than "we're huge in Belgium." I know Ed will keep playoing, though I think Jasper Stone is dead. He's got too much rock and roll in him to be silent for long. I hope we see the release of the album they were polishing, too. I never asked if Henry was proud of his music, I never asked if the gigs before family and a hanful of friends and a couple drunks on Monday nights in Dallas were 'worth it.' I will never know a lot of things.
Some around me claim to have moments of clairvoyance or 'spirit presence.' I am not fool enough to dismiss these outright. I know if a message is to come to me from the other side, it will be music. And I was coming home from Henry's brother's after the funeral, the 'semi-wake' [many stories, many laughs, some tears and a million hugs, a hilariously sad beer run on the north end of Dallas, Carollton, Richardson and Plano; and heartburn from extra greasy salami, every one of which I will treasure forever] and I was coming into the home stretch of 114/121 in Grapevine on to 360 and my tape ran out and I popped it out and Heather's favorite band Queensryche came on the radio, Silent Lucidity.
"Hush now, don't you cry
Wipe away the teardrop from your eye
You're lying safe in bed
It was all a bad dream
Spinning in your head
Your mind tricked you to feel the pain
Of someone close to you leaving the game of life
So here it is, another chance
Wide awake you face the day
Your dream is over... or has it just begun?
There's a place I like to hide
A doorway that I run through in the night
Relax child, you were there
But only didn't realize it and you were scared
It's a place where you will learn
To face your fears, retrace the years
And ride the whims of your mind
Commanding in another world
Suddenly you hear and see
This magic new dimension
I- will be watching over you
I- am gonna help you see it through
I- will protect you in the night
I- am smiling next to you, in Silent Lucidity
[Visualize your dream]
[Record it in the present tense]
[Put it into a permanent form]
[If you persist in your efforts]
[You can achieve dream control]
[Dream control]
[How's that then, better?]
[Hug me]
If you open your mind for me
You won't rely on open eyes to see
The walls you built within
Come tumbling down, and a new world will begin
Living twice at once you learn
You're safe from the pain in the dream domain
A soul set free to fly
A round trip journey in your head
Master of illusion, can you realize
Your dream's alive, you can be the guide but...
I- will be watching over you
I- am gonna help to see it through
I- will protect you in the night
I- am smiling next to you...."
Is that spooky or what? But I believe they are in Heaven and together for eternity and they will find a way to sneak Shiner Bock into Heaven...
Anyway, remind all your loved one that you love them, because you never know when it will be the last time you will see them. Bless you all and thanks for reading and thanks for all the calls and emails...
Chaz
I have never met and probably never will meet two nicer or “full of life” people. I never saw either angry and I never saw them blow anyone off and I never saw them refuse to help anyone of they possibly could. Even when Heather was sick with her mysterious maladies, they were “more subdued” but never really “down.” I am fairly sure they were at peace with themselves and “right with God,” whatever that meant to them. I am glad we were in the habit of telling each other we loved each other. I was lucky enough to know Henry for 15 years and Heather for a little over ten. I knew Henry and Heather better than I know some of my own cousins, and even after a long period of non contact, we would always pick up like good friends, right where we left off. I hope everyone one day finds or has found a love a true and pure as theirs was. And they were blessed with wonderfully off-the-beaten-path families, much like my own extended family [I love you Uncle Rich!]. Their families were always wonderful and I felt part of the family whenever I was around them.
The hardest part for me was the viewing. I saw two waxy lifeless bodies with the souls gone and I was just shocked. I have a photo of the two of them from my birthday gathering this year that I will remeber them by, not the funeral. I understand that funerals are for closure, but I still feel we have not celebrated their lives, the joy and the love that they gave all of us. I will miss long, laugh filled dinners. I will miss Heather’s enthusiasm for life and everything that that implies. I will miss Henry’s perfect “straight man dead pan” [thanks Scott] sense of humor. I keep thinking of the line from Bob Seger’s Beautiful Loser: “He’s always willing to be second best, the perfect lodger and the perfect guest.” I will miss Heather's lack of inhibition, her enthusiasm and her spontaniously breaking into the Elaine dance.
It's just my way to be fairly closed about everything, though some appear to be breaking me down since this tragedy. I tried to be strong for the others who needed the support. Some wonderful person told me that "willingly taking on the burden for others in their time of need was a gift, but I needed to do my grieving also." And I have my days where I am okay and some times when I still cannot belive that an email will come with a joke or a reply to my 'rock and roll discussion group' ever again. Henry knew I was trying to write again and one of the last things he sent was a local web-zine looking for writers.
I don't think I have the piece anymore, but I was going to write an article on Jasper Stone just to get my chops up again and maybe use as an example. It was after a particularly empty gig after a particularly sucessful gig at Love and War. I wrote a few paragraphs as I was getting my thoughts together and I sent them around to Ed and Henry. And Henry called and asked that I NOT publish the piece but he liked what I ad written. We spoke for a long time 'off the record' about the band and things about the band. I am sorry they never met more success than "we're huge in Belgium." I know Ed will keep playoing, though I think Jasper Stone is dead. He's got too much rock and roll in him to be silent for long. I hope we see the release of the album they were polishing, too. I never asked if Henry was proud of his music, I never asked if the gigs before family and a hanful of friends and a couple drunks on Monday nights in Dallas were 'worth it.' I will never know a lot of things.
Some around me claim to have moments of clairvoyance or 'spirit presence.' I am not fool enough to dismiss these outright. I know if a message is to come to me from the other side, it will be music. And I was coming home from Henry's brother's after the funeral, the 'semi-wake' [many stories, many laughs, some tears and a million hugs, a hilariously sad beer run on the north end of Dallas, Carollton, Richardson and Plano; and heartburn from extra greasy salami, every one of which I will treasure forever] and I was coming into the home stretch of 114/121 in Grapevine on to 360 and my tape ran out and I popped it out and Heather's favorite band Queensryche came on the radio, Silent Lucidity.
"Hush now, don't you cry
Wipe away the teardrop from your eye
You're lying safe in bed
It was all a bad dream
Spinning in your head
Your mind tricked you to feel the pain
Of someone close to you leaving the game of life
So here it is, another chance
Wide awake you face the day
Your dream is over... or has it just begun?
There's a place I like to hide
A doorway that I run through in the night
Relax child, you were there
But only didn't realize it and you were scared
It's a place where you will learn
To face your fears, retrace the years
And ride the whims of your mind
Commanding in another world
Suddenly you hear and see
This magic new dimension
I- will be watching over you
I- am gonna help you see it through
I- will protect you in the night
I- am smiling next to you, in Silent Lucidity
[Visualize your dream]
[Record it in the present tense]
[Put it into a permanent form]
[If you persist in your efforts]
[You can achieve dream control]
[Dream control]
[How's that then, better?]
[Hug me]
If you open your mind for me
You won't rely on open eyes to see
The walls you built within
Come tumbling down, and a new world will begin
Living twice at once you learn
You're safe from the pain in the dream domain
A soul set free to fly
A round trip journey in your head
Master of illusion, can you realize
Your dream's alive, you can be the guide but...
I- will be watching over you
I- am gonna help to see it through
I- will protect you in the night
I- am smiling next to you...."
Is that spooky or what? But I believe they are in Heaven and together for eternity and they will find a way to sneak Shiner Bock into Heaven...
Anyway, remind all your loved one that you love them, because you never know when it will be the last time you will see them. Bless you all and thanks for reading and thanks for all the calls and emails...
Chaz
Saturday, August 02, 2003
WE GET MAIL!!!
Well, it finally happened, one of the patients escaped from the institute and sent an email from the inside. JUST KIDDING!
I got an email from Michael Niebuhr from Denmark [home of strong beer I hear] who advises he linked from "RateYourMusic to see if anything interested has just been reviewed. If a review is more than 15 lines I go and check out the reviewers other reviews. If I read more than 30-40 reviews I'll check out the person's profile. That's how I happened to find out about your homepage (from the link). The first thing I read was about a guy who'd just had a 5 day vacation and his adventures in those days. It was great. Then you mentioned Buddyhead and I went and checked that out. Hilarious! I've already turned 2 friends onto their site. Best of all I went to my local library (here in Aarhus, Denmark) and got their copy of Lester Bangs "... Carborator Dung". I read the piece on Richard Hell and proceded to the (long one) on the Clash. It was just as great."
I hope Michael enjoys seeing his name on the World Wide Web and I appreciate his kind words. It makes me feel like I am accomplishing something besides killing all those hours between work and sleeping...
Michael was also kind enough to send A LIST. As I have offered before, you send me a list of last ten things in your player or top ten records of all time or ten favorite truck driving songs, and I'll post it. Well, here's Michael's:
"Top Ten artists who've surpassed or equalled the work of their youth in their third or later decade as recording artists" (you guessed it, I'm still working on a good name for the category - lol)
(no order yet)
Bob Dylan for Time Out Of Mind and The Never Ending Tour // Personally I think Love and Theft is a better record
Iggy Pop for Avenue B // Iggy's output since the comeback Blah Blah Blah has all been hit or miss, but I'd see another Iggy show...
David Bowie for ...hours and Heathen // Heathen was a great record!
Buena Vista Social Club for BVSC (though I'm by no means familiar with their early work)
Van Morrison for The Healing Game (and most of his 90s output) // Van's Back on Top was very good also. He seems be in a 2 good 2 okay pattern
Lou Reed for Ecstasy (The Raven is not bad either) // Lou's output since New York has all been pretty good
Solomon Burke for Don't Give Up On Me
Neil Young for Greendale (out soon, but he's touring it right now - caught it in Copenhagen)
Tom Waits for his latest trilogy (if you will) Mule Variations, Alice & Blood Money
Johnny Cash for American Recordings (my favorites are #1 and #3)
It's been a long week... for those not in the loop my friend and Jasper Stone drummer Henry Meyer and his lovely, witty bride Heather died in an auto accident last weekend. The families and all the friends seem to be getting along nicely, but some times are better than others. Anyway, I have a couple of pieces I am workin on and hope to have more up by the Monday. Thanks to all for kind words, thoughts and phone calls.
Peace... call your friends and tell them love them. Chaz
Well, it finally happened, one of the patients escaped from the institute and sent an email from the inside. JUST KIDDING!
I got an email from Michael Niebuhr from Denmark [home of strong beer I hear] who advises he linked from "RateYourMusic to see if anything interested has just been reviewed. If a review is more than 15 lines I go and check out the reviewers other reviews. If I read more than 30-40 reviews I'll check out the person's profile. That's how I happened to find out about your homepage (from the link). The first thing I read was about a guy who'd just had a 5 day vacation and his adventures in those days. It was great. Then you mentioned Buddyhead and I went and checked that out. Hilarious! I've already turned 2 friends onto their site. Best of all I went to my local library (here in Aarhus, Denmark) and got their copy of Lester Bangs "... Carborator Dung". I read the piece on Richard Hell and proceded to the (long one) on the Clash. It was just as great."
I hope Michael enjoys seeing his name on the World Wide Web and I appreciate his kind words. It makes me feel like I am accomplishing something besides killing all those hours between work and sleeping...
Michael was also kind enough to send A LIST. As I have offered before, you send me a list of last ten things in your player or top ten records of all time or ten favorite truck driving songs, and I'll post it. Well, here's Michael's:
"Top Ten artists who've surpassed or equalled the work of their youth in their third or later decade as recording artists" (you guessed it, I'm still working on a good name for the category - lol)
(no order yet)
Bob Dylan for Time Out Of Mind and The Never Ending Tour // Personally I think Love and Theft is a better record
Iggy Pop for Avenue B // Iggy's output since the comeback Blah Blah Blah has all been hit or miss, but I'd see another Iggy show...
David Bowie for ...hours and Heathen // Heathen was a great record!
Buena Vista Social Club for BVSC (though I'm by no means familiar with their early work)
Van Morrison for The Healing Game (and most of his 90s output) // Van's Back on Top was very good also. He seems be in a 2 good 2 okay pattern
Lou Reed for Ecstasy (The Raven is not bad either) // Lou's output since New York has all been pretty good
Solomon Burke for Don't Give Up On Me
Neil Young for Greendale (out soon, but he's touring it right now - caught it in Copenhagen)
Tom Waits for his latest trilogy (if you will) Mule Variations, Alice & Blood Money
Johnny Cash for American Recordings (my favorites are #1 and #3)
It's been a long week... for those not in the loop my friend and Jasper Stone drummer Henry Meyer and his lovely, witty bride Heather died in an auto accident last weekend. The families and all the friends seem to be getting along nicely, but some times are better than others. Anyway, I have a couple of pieces I am workin on and hope to have more up by the Monday. Thanks to all for kind words, thoughts and phone calls.
Peace... call your friends and tell them love them. Chaz